How to Be a Good Step Parent
Being a good step parent is something everyone in that situation has to work at. Each family is different, and becoming a part of a family with an established hierarchy can be quite tricky to navigate. Here’s how to be part of the family without forcing anything.
There are three relations that you have to build when you become a step parent. First, your relation with your spouse as another partner in being a parent to your spouse’s children. Second, your relation with the children’s biological parent. Third, your relation with your children.
Your Spouse
Good communication with your spouse is key in establishing a good relationship with your spouse’s children. Learn more about the children through your spouse, what his or her relationship is with them, what his or her understanding is about each child’s personality. Your spouse is there to help you build a relationship, and any anxiety or worry that you have in being a step parent, you should be able to share with your spouse.
Don’t forget to spend some time with your spouse despite working the relationship with your spouse’s children. This is still an important aspect in your relationship with your spouse’s children.
The Biological Parent
The biological parent will most likely still be a part of the children’s lives. Try to have a friendly relationship with the biological parent. If that’s not possible, try to go with a civil relationship, at least. You are both in the children’s lives now, and there’s no going around it. Children will feel if the relationship with two adults are chilly, so try at least to be civil.
The Children
While an outdoor trip or activity can help foster a better relationship with children, your everyday existence is what will really establish that relationship. Make it clear to the children that you are not replacing anyone in their life, but at the same time that you have the same concern for them as any good parent would have for their children. To love your spouse is to love his or her children. Deal with the children with love, respect and lots of patience.
Try to learn more about their personalities and interests. Take any opportunity you can to talk to them and interact with them. Don’t expect things to be easy, but children will recognize sincerity when they see and experience it.
Have a good head on your shoulders. Be a friend when they need a friend, be a parent when they need a parent. Don’t be afraid to discipline them and put your foot down when you need to. As long as you’re doing it for their own good, then you have nothing to be worried about.