answer:Welcome to ask-public. Whether or not you have a good opening for a story of any kind always depends upon the rest of the story. Instead of offering criticism, I will offer some advice instead. In order to really be called “short” stories, they have to leave out a lot of the explicit exposition that you have led with here: “the boy had just turned thirteen”; “he looked thus-and-such”; “this morning he was wearing this and that”. (One word of encouragement here: You did say “this morning he was …”. That’s good. That’s exposition that also moves the story along. Now we know that the story is set in “a morning” without having to waste another expository sentence saying “it is morning where he is”.) Here is an example of how one might lead into the story, combining description and action in an effort to move the story along quickly: Peter was very conscious of the grey flannel of his long trouser legs swishing as he strode along the walk, with the morning sun in his eyes. [Unless the fact that his eyes are blue and his hair is short and blond matter to the plot, why mention them?] Since the trousers were new – a thirteenth birthday present only a few days old – he was, in fact, so conscious only of them that he jumped uneasily when he heard Rachel Pearson call out cheerfully [assumed] from behind him, “Good morning, Mr. Brumby.” et cetera You can work in the details of his careful grooming and school uniform later: the pressed white shirt, tie, black belt and polished shoes if they matter to the story. I’m not suggesting that you go with that opening. In fact, I re-wrote it about ten times – literally – as I composed that single paragraph. It’s still awful (my example), and I wouldn’t go with it myself, but it’s a start. Combine narrative and description as much as you can. Demonstrate character and description by narrating the action, don’t just say “he was this” or “he did that”. Let the dialog and action expose the characters. Sometimes you can even let the dialog expose the action. The art to telling short stories is knowing not what to put in, but what to leave out.