Oh geez, T—, what a sad dilemma! I think I would have to go see him. Let me ask you though, are you going because you need to see him again or because you think it would help him? Sometimes, if you are clear about whose needs you’re feeding it can help in the decision. (I know this from a mistake I made years ago telling my son something he didn’t want to know.) If your father’s wife is willing to risk you coming and she might get sick, that’s kind of on her. It’s harder in your Dad’s case because he probably can’t understand what’s going on. I think my compromise would be to go with the clear understanding that you will be masked and distanced outside but the recognition that a farewell hug might be necessary for both of you. If, as you say, he is near to dying anyway, of course you don’t want to give him Covid but it is unlikely you will. As you say, your Dad’s wife and caretaker is making the decisions and she might even be right that the side effects of the vaccine would be adverse to a already dying man. I would go, take all the precautions I could but realize it won’t happen exactly the way you want or plan. And try to not beat myself up for whichever way it goes. I would give you a hug right now – or at least, when we’re both vaccinated. I’m very glad that both my folks were long dead before this pandemic started.