One of the pitfalls, in my mind, to AA is that it ignores the emotional causes for alcoholism. It does not encourage any therapy. Alcoholics are often self-medicating when they use alcohol. Once they are sober, it is important that they look at the underlying emotional issues that contributed to their addiction. If they don’t, you end up with the “dry drunk.” As you well know, one can’t talk to a drunk. Now that your dad is sober, would it be possible to tell him you are proud of his accomplishments, point out some of this behavior that is hurtful, and ask him if he would be willing to take it one step further and work with a therapist? If not, being a recovering alcoholic is no excuse for bad behavior. He gets no breaks. Call him on it.