Off topic: Arbor mist is probably the trashiest-not-actually-**** out there and I have to hide my love of it from friends who prefer “real ****”. But every anniversary or birthday or celebration, my boyfriend doesn’t say anything when I get a bottle. I sometimes suspect this is because he doesn’t drink and accordingly doesn’t know to be a snob about my trashy ****, but I don’t care because I love it! Oh! Oh! Next time, try some Bandit ****!! Comes in a box, totally delicious, good for the environment (see: comes in a box), and you’ve got Bandits! The perfect beginning for any ridiculous romance novel!