I’m pretty much crippled by shame from my childhood. I have PTSD from childhood traumas, which was diagnosed at around age 15 (but started before that) and it has had a long term negative impact on my life. I have struggled with my mental health all of my adult life and with severe shame issues, including body dysmorphic disorder and OCD which manifests as a fear that people will “have to look at me.” It’s obvious to people around me, yes, especially in person. Probably slightly less so online. People regularly remark that I am guarded, walled up, that I’m happy to love people but I push people away who try to love me back or similarly I’ve been accused of trying to “talk people out” of loving me. Everyone I’ve ever asked about what my greatest flaw is or what is “wrong” with me has said that I’m too hard on myself or too negative about myself. It’s still something that I struggle with, but it’s getting better, finally. I have been in and out of therapy for years but I never sought out therapy specifically for my PTSD before, just traditional CBT trying to address my anxiety and low self esteem. Seeing a trauma therapist has helped me a lot. Once I started to understand how what happened to me was affecting every facet of my life, it became much easier to shift it in a positive direction. Not that it has been easy, far from it, I’ve had to face some truly painful realities. But, now that I have a grasp on trauma and what it does to the brain and seeing firsthand the way that it has impacted me, I do believe that the majority of toxic shame issues are probably rooted in childhood even for people who don’t have PTSD. Everyone has had something terrible happen to them, or their parents fell short in some way (even if they were wonderful parents) and I think connecting those dots and working through that and grieving anything that needs to be grieved can be a healing experience for anyone who struggles with feeling like they aren’t good enough.