I’m not going to comment about these poems, other than to say that poetry is generally more effective when it focuses on concrete, sensory experiences and less on abstract concepts. What does it feel, smell, sound, look and taste like? The goal is to build a resonance with the reader and that is best achieved through sensory connections. Generally, when I see an “ism” in a poem, I shake my head because it’s trying to be pretentious. I’m offering this up not to discourage you but to hopefully encourage you to explore some more sensory-focused poetry. What does loneliness taste like (e.g. the summer watermelon you ate with your family as a child but no longer)? what does it sound like? what does it smell like (smell is so powerfully connected to memory)? what does it feel like on your skin? If you can emotionally connect your readers to how you relate to a feeling using sensations as the bridge between you and them, your poetry will resonate with them.