Both happiness and sorrow are a part of human life. I accept that your life is full of sorrow and you will not be able to live like this anymore. If you want to live in a beautiful way now, you will need happiness and peace. But just think, being happy is not a difficult task. If you want to be happy, you have to earn a lot of money. First, you have to work hard and be patient. Establish regular prayers and pray to Allah more and more. InshaAllah you can be happy.