answer:I LOVE it. I would make a few minor edits though. In this line He was sick of having a broken heart I would change it to “He was sick, with a broken heart.” Or you could say “He was heart sick.” The term “he was sick of having a broken heart” sounds too much like every day speech and means something more like he was “disgusted” I don’t think your fellow is disgusted, he’s heart broken. Then in this line Dying without each other, fighting through each day I would change the second part to “fighting to get through each day” otherwise is sounds like the couple is fighting with each other every day. This line She told them she loved them, and please don’t forget her should probably have the second part revised to “and to please not forget her” to keep it in the same tense. But if he had I can tell you what he probably would have wrote sounds really good because of the rhyme, but I think that “wrote” is the wrong tense, it would be “written” so to get the rhyme to work I think you could say, But in his heart, this is what he wrote” I really love this ballad, but I would hate for your teacher to get all caught up in the tenses. See what you think, with these minor tense changes. : )