Visiting graves of loved ones isn’t a custom in our family, but when my last grandmother died I had the intention to start it. The first time I visited her, after one or two years, I just stood there, feeling nothing (as opposed to when I pass her old house which was five houses down of my parents’ or when I see stuff that reminds me of her, or when she just visits me in my mind). Two years ago though, when I visited the grave again, now together with my girlfriend I broke out in a childs cry. To answer your decoration question: no, I don’t do that, neither does my mum (her daughter).