How can I deal with my feelings for an alcoholic? Does he even care? How do I move on?

How can I deal with my feelings for an alcoholic? Does he even care? How do I move on?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:Welcome to Fluther! First, how do you know that he is an alcoholic? I know many people that drink, but they aren’t alcoholics. Secondly, alcohol affects people in many different ways. From the description, he is just being overly friendly and not necessarily flirtatious. If you don’t want to be in a more personal relationship with this person, the only advice I can offer is to give it more distance than you already are doing. If you still want to be his pal, then talk to him about your concerns when he hasn’t been drinking. Keep in mind that this would be unsolicited advice and may be waved away or worse. Then again, it might be a wake-up call. The main thing to understand is that you cannot change someone else’s behavior.
by

Related questions

How do you deal with a crazy ex without hurting their feelings?

Description : How do you deal with a crazy ex without hurting their feelings?

Last Answer : Was it a loud and clear break-up or did you leave things hanging in mid-air? Such issues should be dealt with firmly, maturely and directly to the point without leaving space for doubts. If you have not done that, then make it clear and cut ALL ties. No occasional calls if the relationship is off!

When something good happens to you or when everything is going good in your life, how do you deal with feelings of uncertainty?

Description : When something good happens to you or when everything is going good in your life, how do you deal with feelings of uncertainty?

Last Answer : I think what happens is if everything is going well we know that it can't last forever so we prepare ourselves mentally for a letdown. How much time you spend thinking about it depends on ... my head. Having minor challenges actually offsets that little frisson of threat you get on a perfect day.

How would you deal with an ex inlaw who is depressed and living with an alcoholic?

Description : How would you deal with an ex inlaw who is depressed and living with an alcoholic?

Last Answer : I think you are worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and may not even happen. You can't control where someone lives, so that choice is out. I doubt that you will really move just because ... time, maybe someone to just shop with, get her out of the house and away from the alcoholic.

How can I deal with my alcoholic housemate?

Description : How can I deal with my alcoholic housemate?

Last Answer : answer:I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. I've got friends and relatives who are alcoholics and two of my grandparents died from alcoholism. However, in my opinion it's not your business ... advertising for roommates on Craigslist, although I have not done that myself. Best of luck to you.

How to deal with an over-talkative alcoholic who has no manners?

Description : How to deal with an over-talkative alcoholic who has no manners?

Last Answer : I’d give him to him straight, he may not realize what he’s doing to you.

Those of you who have feelings of doom and despair, how do you deal with them?

Description : Those of you who have feelings of doom and despair, how do you deal with them?

Last Answer : I just keep in mind that life does go on and tomorrow is another day. Sounds trite, but it works for me.

How do other guys deal with their feelings when their lady goes for her mammogram?

Description : How do other guys deal with their feelings when their lady goes for her mammogram?

Last Answer : answer:Not a guy, but the child of a cancer survivor here. She's going to get tested which is the first step. From what I understand and what happened with my own mom, people wait too long to get tested and ... can really help. Your lady is going to be just fine. I bet she doesn't even have a lump!

Do you think journalists can be objective without expressing feelings, beliefs and/or opinions, even implicitly?

Description : Do you think journalists can be objective without expressing feelings, beliefs and/or opinions, even implicitly?

Last Answer : No. Even the most honest journalist cannot escape putting some sort of spin on what he or she writes. It may be very subtle - the choice of words, the use of a phrase, perhaps the headline ... can do is read news from multiple sources, because truth and objectivity will be somewhere in the middle.

Do you think that asking a person out will trigger some feelings in them even if they did not have, to begin with?

Description : Do you think that asking a person out will trigger some feelings in them even if they did not have, to begin with?

Last Answer : It might, but it’s along shot, and I wouldn’t depend on it is a strategy to start a relationship. There are better ways.

Does a swastika still evoke bad feelings even when used in a historical context?

Description : Does a swastika still evoke bad feelings even when used in a historical context?

Last Answer : answer:I think it is still a very potent symbol that causes visceral reactions. I don’t think it can be used innocuously and without knowledge and intent. The fact that it is an ancient Sanskrit symbol of good fortune has been totally eclipsed by its use in modern times.

Which statements are characteristic of virtue ethics? A. Our character traits are easily modified, almost on a day-to-day basis if we so choose. B. Like Kantian ethical theory, virtue ethics requires that we disregard personal emotions and feelings. C. Virtue ethics is about describing people as good or bad. D. Even if a person is caring, empathetic, charitable and sympathetic, the challenge of egoism is still a factor in his or her decision-making. E. All of the above. F. None of the above.

Description : Which statements are characteristic of virtue ethics? A. Our character traits are easily modified, almost on a day-to-day basis if we so choose. B. Like Kantian ethical theory, virtue ethics requires that we disregard ... in his or her decision-making. E. All of the above. F. None of the above.

Last Answer : F. None of the above.

How do you feel when your mom doesnt care about your feelings anymore?

Description : How do you feel when your mom doesnt care about your feelings anymore?

Last Answer : Maybe you aren’t being clear enough. Instead of her approaching you, you approach her. And don’t go to her crying. Be mature and as calm as possible. Throwing a fit isn’t going to get you anything.

Of the following terms, which is used to refer to the period of time during which mourning a loss takes place? a) Bereavement Bereavement is the period of time during which mourning a loss takes place. b) Grief Grief is the personal feelings that accompany an anticipated or actual loss c) Mourning Mourning is the individual, family, group and cultural expressions of grief and associated behaviors d) Hospice Hospice is a coordinated program of interdisciplinary care and services provided primarily in the home to terminally ill patients and their families.

Description : Of the following terms, which is used to refer to the period of time during which mourning a loss takes place? a) Bereavement Bereavement is the period of time during which mourning ... interdisciplinary care and services provided primarily in the home to terminally ill patients and their families.

Last Answer : a) Bereavement Bereavement is the period of time during which mourning a loss takes place.

If you had a friend who is a surgeon, pilot, or school bus driver, and you are pretty sure he is an alcoholic, would you tell?

Description : If you had a friend who is a surgeon, pilot, or school bus driver, and you are pretty sure he is an alcoholic, would you tell?

Last Answer : Yeah, I suppose I would.

Is it true that when an alcoholic stops drinking suddenly that he would get sick?

Description : Is it true that when an alcoholic stops drinking suddenly that he would get sick?

Last Answer : Yes, withdrawal can be deadly. It can cause uncontrolled seizures and all sorts of scary things.

Have you ever made an extreme geographical move - and how did you adapt to the new climate, culture and perhaps even language?

Description : Have you ever made an extreme geographical move - and how did you adapt to the new climate, culture and perhaps even language?

Last Answer : I have moved too many times to count in my life. I moved from the South of the US to Japan as a university student a long time ago. I was intrigued by the novelty at first, but culture shock did ... my mind and my heart. It helped me grow in so many ways. I returned home a totally different person.

How do you deal with being far away from people you care about?

Description : How do you deal with being far away from people you care about?

Last Answer : My closest friends live the farthest away. It does suck not being able to celebrate birthdays and the like. I make sure that when they do visit, I get as much face time in as possible.

I have a neighbor who continues to flirt and invite me over even though he knows that I'm gay and in a relationship. How do I deal with him?

Description : I have a neighbor who continues to flirt and invite me over even though he knows that I'm gay and in a relationship. How do I deal with him?

Last Answer : answer:@Jude: I was wearing a robe and nothing underneath (sitting on my back steps with my legs open. I'm such a lady!). That's just cruel. Seriously, though. Other than the robe ... even if he didn't mean anything by it - that you might not get any more uncomfortable drinking invitations.

Do you know of a case where feelings such as envy and jealousy were culprits of a matter gone too far?

Description : Do you know of a case where feelings such as envy and jealousy were culprits of a matter gone too far?

Last Answer : We just had that kind of problem. A brother was dropping his clothes off to another brother and expecting him to wash his clothes and have them ready when he came to pick them up. Well the ... think the second brother should press charges and have his brother arrested. We found out that he can.

What are your feelings about human Euthanasia?

Description : What are your feelings about human Euthanasia?

Last Answer : IMO, if a person is dying anyway and they are suffering, give em enough morphine or whatever to put them out of their misery.

Do you share your feelings with others?

Description : Do you share your feelings with others?

Last Answer : I have no emotions.

How well can you predict your own feelings and behavior?

Description : How well can you predict your own feelings and behavior?

Last Answer : I don’t have to predict my actions and reactions. I choose them.

What type of feelings do you experience when thinking of your death?

Description : What type of feelings do you experience when thinking of your death?

Last Answer : Peaceful I will finally be at peace and everyone can get off my back I look forward to it

Does it seem like he may be burying his feelings in his new relationship?

Description : Does it seem like he may be burying his feelings in his new relationship?

Last Answer : answer:The dude still likes you. Be careful about leading guys like that on. Sometimes I get carried away and would ask him favors, which he eventuqlly got tired of doing. That's a dangerous game to ... tell him: I don't, and will never have romantic feelings for you. Please respect my choice.

How has Paul feelings for his comrades changed now that he is no longer on leave?

Description : How has Paul feelings for his comrades changed now that he is no longer on leave?

Last Answer : What is the answer ?

What does paragraph 2 suggest about Richards feelings for ms Ballard's Why is he in such a hurry Is the code of the southern gentleman at work here or could there be more to his concern than that?

Description : What does paragraph 2 suggest about Richards feelings for ms Ballard's Why is he in such a hurry Is the code of the southern gentleman at work here or could there be more to his concern than that?

Last Answer : Need answer

Do men catch feelings if he cheats on his wife or girlfriend with other women?

Description : Do men catch feelings if he cheats on his wife or girlfriend with other women?

Last Answer : Yes, he feels guilt.

Which of the following is not a quality of teacher? Options: A) Teacher should be keen in his work and should be enthusiastic and anxious to keep his knowledge fresh and update. B) He should have feelings of love and sympathy. C) His language should be understandable to students. D) He may not know child psychology.

Description : Which of the following is not a quality of teacher? Options: A) Teacher should be keen in his work and should be enthusiastic and anxious to keep his knowledge fresh and update. B) He should ... and sympathy. C) His language should be understandable to students. D) He may not know child psychology.

Last Answer : D) He may not know child psychology.

If a person was responsible for the death of someone, but later saves somebody's life, could you say he was even now?

Description : If a person was responsible for the death of someone, but later saves somebody's life, could you say he was even now?

Last Answer : If the first death was deliberate, I would have to say no. There is no cosmic scale whereby you can justify one murder by preventing another. If the death was accidental, or purely unintentional, then there would be no reason to “square accounts.”

Does this guy like me Help please HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE TRYING 2 MAKE ME LAFF EVEN IN THE MOST IMMATURE WAYS!?

Description : Does this guy like me Help please HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE TRYING 2 MAKE ME LAFF EVEN IN THE MOST IMMATURE WAYS!?

Last Answer : I’m confused – why would a homphobe not want you to do his hair?!?!?! Why don’t you just ask him? And why would you want to go out with a homophobe anyway? sorry – i answered your question with a load of questions!

What’s a one non-alcoholic drink that’s SO GOOD you could give up alcohol?

Description : What’s a one non-alcoholic drink that’s SO GOOD you could give up alcohol?

Last Answer : Water

How do different alcoholic drinks affect drinkers differently?

Description : How do different alcoholic drinks affect drinkers differently?

Last Answer : Generally, it is the potency. People will claim that tequila will make them more aggressive or crazier, but really, that has more to do with shooting it rather than sipping it over twenty to thirty ... as tequila. Wine is usually drunk more leisurely, same with beer. So you get drunk more gradually.

How serious is it if an alcoholic is in the hospital with swollen legs and what is going on?

Description : How serious is it if an alcoholic is in the hospital with swollen legs and what is going on?

Last Answer : Possibly, they are having kidney trouble or a circulation problem. Both not good. If it's one leg it could be a blood clot. These are just possibilities obviously. My MIL gets swollen legs every time ... bad situation, especially if it's concurrent with the liver failing. I hope that's not the case.

Does anyone have anyone in their family who has alcoholic psychosis?

Description : Does anyone have anyone in their family who has alcoholic psychosis?

Last Answer : This is what I have read, in the last few days, about alcoholic psychosis. This sounds like what my friend’s MIL is going through. https://www.alcohol.org/comorbid/psychotic-disorder/

Would you say something to the children of an alcoholic?

Description : Would you say something to the children of an alcoholic?

Last Answer : We have had dealings twice now with parents who were alcoholics. Now, the children we were dealing with were teens. Friends of our kids. The thing we did was to be there for them. When they wanted ... It doesn't come off as a lecture, but it sends the subtle message that alcoholism was the cause.

Does every family have at least one alcoholic?

Description : Does every family have at least one alcoholic?

Last Answer : No, not in my family or extended family. We have had our share of smokers (including cancer deaths), a suicide about 30 years ago (2nd cousin), and one out-and-out schizophrenic, but ... cousin on both sides. I wonder if ethnicity/heritage plays a role. All European and Eastern European Jews.

If a mom kept giving money to her alcoholic son, would you blame the mom or the son for the continuous binge drinking?

Description : If a mom kept giving money to her alcoholic son, would you blame the mom or the son for the continuous binge drinking?

Last Answer : It’s not up to you to blame anybody. If you are really stressed out by your friend’s behavior, find yourself an Al-Anon meeting.

Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic?

Description : Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic?

Last Answer : answer:I don’t agree with that truism. I’ve known too many people who overcome serious problems with alcohol and later become moderate, social drinkers. Many people believe the A.A. slogan and will attack me vehemently for holding a different position.

What are some fancy non-alcoholic drinks that are not sweet?

Description : What are some fancy non-alcoholic drinks that are not sweet?

Last Answer : For holiday time, how about a nice red virgin Bloody Mary?

Do you drink alcoholic beverages when you're home and if so, what and how often?

Description : Do you drink alcoholic beverages when you're home and if so, what and how often?

Last Answer : Occasionally Maybe once a month.

What was the first alcoholic drink you ever had?

Description : What was the first alcoholic drink you ever had?

Last Answer : My parents let me have a glass of sparkling wine every once in while, starting when I was around 12, I think. Hard to put a number on it.

This is not a joke: I think my cat is a alcoholic. Details inside.

Description : This is not a joke: I think my cat is a alcoholic. Details inside.

Last Answer : Agressive behaviour? Don’t encourage that…

If you were an alcoholic beverage, what would you be?

Description : If you were an alcoholic beverage, what would you be?

Last Answer : Something with the word “bomb” in it.

Is it common for an alcoholic in recovery to push loved ones away?

Description : Is it common for an alcoholic in recovery to push loved ones away?

Last Answer : answer:Your boyfriend is recovering from alcoholism right? I guess he need some time to focus on his recovery. Recovery is pretty hard and he is trying to concentrate. He doesn't necessarily get bored of you, he ... , and he need time to be alone. You can still stay close to him, but not too much.

Why would a 54 year old alcoholic male do this?

Description : Why would a 54 year old alcoholic male do this?

Last Answer : A heavy drunk.

Why would an alcoholic not respond to you?

Description : Why would an alcoholic not respond to you?

Last Answer : answer:She would not respond to you for the same reason a person who is not an alcoholic would not respond to you, she's not interested in speaking to you. It sounds as though this was a very ... to remove yourself from all of the dysfunction. P.S. Go Big Red! Find yourself a fellow Husker!

Are you annoyed when alcoholic drinks are included?

Description : Are you annoyed when alcoholic drinks are included?

Last Answer : I have never been anywhere that alcohol was included in the price. It is usually extra, but it would not annoy me. If it did, I wouldn’t go there again.

What alcoholic beverage do you like getting drunk on?

Description : What alcoholic beverage do you like getting drunk on?

Last Answer : Gin & Tonic, or a hoppy IPA.

Why is there no alcoholic food?

Description : Why is there no alcoholic food?

Last Answer : answer:You've never heard of drunk gummi bears. If soaked in vodka for 24 hrs. they absorb am incredible amount of alcohol. Some high schoollers sneak them into football games, etc in plastic baggies ... foods of all kinds. Wine is added to many classic French dishes. Interesting subject. Great Q.

Is fermented noni juice alcoholic?

Description : Is fermented noni juice alcoholic?

Last Answer : answer:I don’t think so! At least not very much, unless sugar was added. The fruit seems to not contain much sugars in the juice. Don’t drink what you don’t understand, though. Moonshine requires distilling not just fermentation.