answer:I have been a smoker for four years. I started at three-plus packs a day (stressful job) I broke up with my girlfriend and came out of the closet, releasing my stress and reducing my intake to one. For two years the most faithful relationship I had was to a man named Joe Camel. Every once in awhile I’d date a human that didn’t approve of smoking which motivated me to “quit” for the duration of our relationship. The moment we broke up I’d be back to my first love. I even listened to my friends and loved ones warning me of the dangers of cigarettes. I looked at the photographs and autopsies of those that have succumbed to lung cancer, and for a brief time this would give me the motivation and determination to overcome my addiction – of course I would always return to smoking in the end. It took another two years for me to realize that I would never have victory over this if my motivation was in others. I had to do this for me and that journey of self-discovery brought to light certain questions that were very difficult to confront. Now every time I light up a cigarette I have to remind myself that I am making a self-destructive statement: “I am not worth living.” Therefore bringing my insecurities to light. Once you start to make your vice/addiction/issue personal and stop relying on external motivation, you will find that it becomes a self-analysis with painful, but ultimately, victorious experiences. I want a cigarette right now but there are a lot of realties I have to face before I can light up or a lot of truths I have to deny, about myself, before I can enjoy it.