If a cat doesn’t want to be held, they don’t want to be held. I have 3 cats. My eldest, the Persian, does NOT want to be held. She’ll hiss, growl…we can’t even get her groomed at a groomers. We have her groomed at the vets where they anesthetize her. My youngest, a kitten, wants to cuddle ALL the time, but only with my daughter. Never with me. I pick her up, she wants to get down. LOVES to play with me, loves to get her belly rubbed by me, but doesn’t want me to hold her. My middle cat, the male, is MY cat in that he is ALWAYS around me. He’ll even sleep by my feet every night. But don’t let my daughter try to pick him up. If she manages to catch him, he’ll bite her. So don’t take it personally. And understand it’s the cat’s nature. The cat calls the shots. But I would pet them gently when they come near. Don’t brush them, just stroke them on the back of the head. Gently, When they decide to go away, don’t force them to stay. Just wait for the next time. Hold off from picking them up for awhile. Just pet them. If they come in your bed, just pet them. don’t try to pick them up for awhile.