If your boyfriend is not for you, then you should break up with him. He’ll survive. As to the other guy—well—hands off him until he breaks up with his girlfriend.. As to your feelings—it’ll be hard not to be with your secret lover. Impossible if he keeps coming after you. So you know what? You’ll be in for some serious drama. If your boyfriend is unstable, he might go after your secret lover. Certainly he’ll be mooning around, hoping you’ll take him back. Hopefully he won’t get weird and start following you or something. Then there’s your other guy. His girlfriend will not be happy, to say the least. If she finds out who you are, and she’s the angry type, she’ll be in your face. Secret lover will probably love having two women fight over him. Well, I don’t know. You sound young. But I don’t know your personality. I don’t know anyone else’s personality in this menage a quatre. This little story I’ve spun is made of cliches. Just be careful. You know the situation is volatile. You’ve already gone into a place where people will call you a cheater and tell you you’re a bad person. Unless you’ve got incredible self-control, it doesn’t matter what you should do. You’ll go where your intuition and heart tell you to go. Do you care about not hurting people more than you care about finding what’s right for you? Then stop all this stuff until you are free. Do you want to justify continuing what you’re doing? Don’t bother with justifications. Just do it. You’d do it anyway.