Has anyone got a ********* Joke?

Has anyone got a ********* Joke?
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1 Answer

Answer :

answer:The economy. that is all.
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Related questions

What was your ********* gift that got away?

Description : What was your Christmas gift that got away?

Last Answer : world peace

What's the worst thing you got for ********* ever?

Description : What's the worst thing you got for Christmas ever?

Last Answer : The day after christmas, my aunt gave me this really cheap-o ornament of an ugly squirrel sitting in a basket holding an giftbox. It was a truly WTF gift.

What was the best present you ever got for *********?

Description : What was the best present you ever got for Christmas?

Last Answer : Notification that somebody I couldn’t stand, had died.

Has anyone started their ********* shopping?

Description : Has anyone started their Christmas shopping?

Last Answer : Aye aye, I eyeballed a pair of prescription sun glasses and bought them for 2020.

Does anyone else remember silver ********* trees?

Description : Does anyone else remember silver Christmas trees?

Last Answer : Grammy had one. I chewed her out for going commercial. I was like eight-ish.

It's July, has anyone started their ********* shopping?

Description : It's July, has anyone started their Christmas shopping?

Last Answer : Bah humbug. Over hyped, over commercialized, over priced. Now I’ll have nightmares of Christmas carols paying on the radio station before Labor Day.

Anyone here not buy into the whole crazy gift giving thing at *********?

Description : Anyone here not buy into the whole crazy gift giving thing at Christmas?

Last Answer : Oh, I don’t want to. But the kids….you just can’t let them down. But I’m trying to make it as easy as possible on myself.

Does anyone have a special story they like to read to their kids as a holiday tradition for *********, Hannukah, Kawanza?

Description : Does anyone have a special story they like to read to their kids as a holiday tradition for Christmas, Hannukah, Kawanza?

Last Answer : We have always read The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg and this great little Scholastic book called Moosletoe ( judging by the price they are asking for this first edition, we’re not the only ones who think it is great). We also always enjoyed Arthur’s Christmas.

Has anyone really had a piece of whiskey endowed cake at *********, that made them tipsy?

Description : Has anyone really had a piece of whiskey endowed cake at Christmas, that made them tipsy?

Last Answer : Nope, I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten a piece of alcoholic cake, period.

Is anyone up for an ugly ********* sweater making contest?

Description : Is anyone up for an ugly Christmas sweater making contest?

Last Answer : HoHoHo

Can anyone help me get the best deal on my ********* shopping to cross these items off my list?

Description : Can anyone help me get the best deal on my Christmas shopping to cross these items off my list?

Last Answer : answer:You seemed to have checked out all the possible options though I'm not sure why you are looking in outdated weekly circulars unless you are only looking on the internet, rather than in the local ... you think you might have something you can trade give one of the Gamebox in your area a call.

Man I fail at *********... could anyone help me with present suggestions for my family?

Description : Man I fail at christmas... could anyone help me with present suggestions for my family?

Last Answer : Mom - Candles? Potpourri? Matching scarf and gloves? If you're considering a candle, look into Woodwick Candles. They have real wood wicks so when they burn they crackle. Sounds pretty. Brother - ... up under while she watches TV? Harry and David has some nice chocolates, jams, and jellies also.

Does anyone know the composer of this piece (link)? Can anyone suggest classical ********* music?

Description : Does anyone know the composer of this piece (link)? Can anyone suggest classical Christmas music?

Last Answer : Apparently it’s this guy, and it’s a Renaissance piece.

Has anyone ever actually gotten coal for *********?

Description : Has anyone ever actually gotten coal for Christmas?

Last Answer : My son was a real brat one year and I put a bow on a bag of charcoal. He didn't get his presents until late that day. He was a real brat though!! Now we know he's bi-polar, but ... out of control behavior he was displaying that year. I think he was suspended twice and that was in grade school!!

********* Holiday time is actually a SAD time for me, so I'm starting to dread them ALREADY. Anyone else?

Description : Christmas Holiday time is actually a SAD time for me, so I'm starting to dread them ALREADY. Anyone else?

Last Answer : answer:Yea, there's tons of stuff that you can do if you don't want to have a pity party for yourself. Volunteer to collect toys from those toy bins. Volunteer in a soup kitchen. There's a ... myself pretty unavailable on the holidays. It's only a happy time for normal people. I relate to you.

Did people fire shots where you live on ********* Eve at midnight?

Description : Did people fire shots where you live on Christmas Eve at midnight?

Last Answer : No. There are laws here that you can’t fire guns within a certain distance from residences.

Are there any ********* songs that make you cry?

Description : Are there any Christmas songs that make you cry?

Last Answer : White Wine in the Sun

Did your ********* plans get screwed up at the last minute because of covid?

Description : Did your Christmas plans get screwed up at the last minute because of covid?

Last Answer : My girlfriend and her family were all going to Princeton NJ for a large family Christmas gathering. Tuesday her sister called and said that the town had been hit by omicron and no one was going ... Wednesday afternoon, he had a sore throat and congestion and had tested positive, so no visiting him.

Do you have ********* meal on the 24th or the 25th?

Description : Do you have Christmas meal on the 24th or the 25th?

Last Answer : We do our not very fancy traditional meal on Christmas Day.

What are some of your plans for *********?

Description : What are some of your plans for christmas?

Last Answer : I will not be with family again this year. Instead, my friends and I will have a BBQ in the park. It will be good fun.

DIY decoration ideas for *********?

Description : DIY decoration ideas for Christmas?

Last Answer : If you're in an area with wild holly, you can get some cuttings and put them in vases, or even make a wreath or garland of them. Very festive, surpsisingly long-lasting (three weeks or so without ... you don't have pets or children that might eat the toxic berries, as they do fall off eventually.

Will you be putting up a ********* tree?

Description : Will you be putting up a Christmas tree?

Last Answer : We had Christmas house lights up last year, figuring people will still drive by.

If ********* time is defined by when stores first start selling ********* related products, when does ********* start where you live?

Description : If Christmas time is defined by when stores first start selling Christmas related products, when does Christmas start where you live?

Last Answer : Mid July. :-(

*********: Do you open presents on ********* Eve or ********* Morning usually?

Description : Christmas: Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning usually?

Last Answer : Morning

Anything exciting today? On ********* Day 2018?

Description : Anything exciting today? On Christmas Day 2018?

Last Answer : Let me illustrate the day with a song

So, my Jelly pals, would you care to share your ********* plans?

Description : So, my Jelly pals, would you care to share your Christmas plans?

Last Answer : Scour the wasteland for scrap and canned dog food.

Which ********* present is the one thing you wait all year for?

Description : Which Christmas present is the one thing you wait all year for?

Last Answer : My grandmother used to make cookies just for me for Christmas. When she died (2001), my aunt found the handwritten recipe she used and gave it to me. I have since made the cookies every year and thought ... though I'm making them, I feel as though they are still presents from her in a strange way.

Have you ever been chastised for using, or not using, a particular greeting during the ********* season?

Description : Have you ever been chastised for using, or not using, a particular greeting during the Christmas season?

Last Answer : No. It’s a made up crisis.

Have you ever known an adult who expected, almost to the point of demanding, a gift for *********?

Description : Have you ever known an adult who expected, almost to the point of demanding, a gift for Christmas?

Last Answer : That’s crazy. Christmas is for kiddos anyway. Some people are just shameless and self centered…

Is it stressful when people tell you exactly what to get for a ********* present?

Description : Is it stressful when people tell you exactly what to get for a Christmas present?

Last Answer : Um, @Dutchess_III , it is pretty late in the game. You only have two more days. You could have looked on Amazon and had it delivered to your door, but it's probably too late now. There's ... kids since I don't have any and would have no idea what they would want. Get shopping @Dutchess_III !!

In the Dickens story, A ********* Carol, why does Jacob Marley have his head tied up as though he has a tooth ache?

Description : In the Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, why does Jacob Marley have his head tied up as though he has a tooth ache?

Last Answer : No toothache. He’s dead. His jaw is tied up because it’s gone slack, as a corpse’s does. But he has to untie it to speak. (We won’t demand too much logic or fidelity to real life when it comes to ghosts.)

Have you had a memorable ********* tree disaster?

Description : Have you had a memorable Christmas tree disaster?

Last Answer : About 40 years ago a friend and I rented a little house in the woods east of Seattle, in the foothills of the Cascades. Being very hippy and self-sufficient (so we believed) we went ... about it all, and replaced the broken window and battered doorframe quickly and without too much fuss.

Do you like *********, or dislike it? Why?

Description : Do you like Christmas, or dislike it? Why?

Last Answer : I like it. I celebrate it with joy in my heart. Geez, @josie, you;re making me teary and it is still November. The Christmas story, a tale of common people overcoming poverty and forced travel to bring a ... the point my kids check to see if I am weepy. That's what Christmas is about, @josie Brown .

How much, on average, do you spend on your kids and / or grandkids at *********?

Description : How much, on average, do you spend on your kids and / or grandkids at Christmas?

Last Answer : I SO badly want to get the old book Look Our For Pirates for my 6 year old grand daughter but damn! They want $24 bucks for it on Amazon! And that’s the cheapest!

Other than your spouse do you still ********* shop for the adults in your life?

Description : Other than your spouse do you still Christmas shop for the adults in your life?

Last Answer : I make consumables for everybody, but yes, for many fewer than I used to.

Is the "ugly ********* sweaters" phenomenon contributing to the squandering of energy and resources?

Description : Is the "ugly Christmas sweaters" phenomenon contributing to the squandering of energy and resources?

Last Answer : Probably no more than the Teen Formalwear industry. 2-3 skanky nylon dresses per year, per kid, for 4 years of high school (assuming they didn't start going to high school formals in seventh grade ... certainly double as a 2nd or 3rd layer when gallivanting in the snow during not-Christmas, as well.

Do those of you who live in areas where it snows think it’s odd or funny to see “fake” snow ********* decorations?

Description : Do those of you who live in areas where it snows think it’s odd or funny to see “fake” snow Christmas decorations?

Last Answer : When I lived in California, and then Nevada it felt out of place to me. Now that I have snow where I live, it just seems like extending the outdoors indoors. I laugh though, at those people who hang “icecicle” lights on their house, and they get frozen inside of enormous real ice spikes. Lol

What should I get for my 52 year old mom's ********* birthday?

Description : What should I get for my 52 year old mom's Christmas birthday?

Last Answer : How much do you want to spend?

[Fluff time] Do you believe you would have a better ********* as a stressed out wealthy person or a content pauper?

Description : [Fluff time] Do you believe you would have a better Christmas as a stressed out wealthy person or a content pauper?

Last Answer : answer:Well, I've never been rich but I have been poor in monetary terms. Never poor in spirit or joy. So I will bet on the poor. The one good thing about being poor is everyone who is in the ... as everyone I love is healthy and happy too. You learn to live in the moments that are big or small.

[Fluff time] Is a lousy ********* gift with a possible use would be as worse as a lousy one with no plausible use?

Description : [Fluff time] Is a lousy Christmas gift with a possible use would be as worse as a lousy one with no plausible use?

Last Answer : A kayak? Dude where the hell do you come up with these examples lol.

[Fluff time] What was the largest amount (as in numbers of bulbs) of ********* lights you ever hung or arranged in any of the places you ever called home?

Description : [Fluff time] What was the largest amount (as in numbers of bulbs) of Christmas lights you ever hung or arranged in any of the places you ever called home?

Last Answer : For me, personally, I think it’s 1000. Five 200 bulb strands. All inside.

What is on your ********* tree? (If you have one).

Description : What is on your Christmas tree? (If you have one).

Last Answer : I’m not putting up a tree, but…I just hung some cool blue lights. :-) When my daughter was growing up we often went on excursions to cut our own tree, and decorated together.

What would you get Trump for *********?

Description : What would you get Trump for Christmas?

Last Answer : A steaming pile of my sick-person shit.

What would you get Hillary for *********?

Description : What would you get Hillary for Christmas?

Last Answer : Last year as a gag my brother in law gave me a Trump bumper sticker that had his big orange head. I was going to wrap it in a box and give it back this year with a tag that said “dick in a box” I guess I could give that to her.

Is ********* a socialist holiday?

Description : Is Christmas a socialist holiday?

Last Answer : No.

So how are you coming along with your ********* shopping?

Description : So how are you coming along with your Christmas shopping?

Last Answer : I have bought 2 big presents so far. Pretty much done.

Why do Scandinavian ********* menorahs -- and St. Lucia's crown -- have seven candles?

Description : Why do Scandinavian Christmas menorahs -- and St. Lucia's crown -- have seven candles?

Last Answer : answer:The menorah has 7 (6+1) because that is how it is described in the Torah. The Chanukah menorah has 9 (8+1) because when the Jews were able to go back into their temple after having ... happened and the one day of oil had lasted throughout the 8 days. That miracle is the Chanukah celebration.

Fluff time: how many days, weeks, etc. into the year is it more than a societal faux pas to have all your ********* gear in place and working every night?

Description : Fluff time: how many days, weeks, etc. into the year is it more than a societal faux pas to have all your Christmas gear in place and working every night?

Last Answer : answer:Believers keep decorations up through January 6, Epiphany, when the Three Wise Men arrived. Catholic Churches keep Christmas stuff up until the second Sunday after Epiphany. Eastern Orthodox Christians don ... January 7th on the Gregorian Calendar, so they get a pass until the end of January.

Can I wish all Jellies who celebrate a wonderful *********?

Description : Can I wish all Jellies who celebrate a wonderful Christmas?

Last Answer : Merry Christmas to you and to all Jellies.

What are my fellow Jellies doing for ********* Eve and *********? Anything special? Do you celebrate? Can I wish you all a Merry *********?

Description : What are my fellow Jellies doing for Christmas Eve and Christmas? Anything special? Do you celebrate? Can I wish you all a Merry Christmas?

Last Answer : Chilling out at home! A very merry Christmas to you and yours.