Help with this essay?

Help with this essay?
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1 Answer

Answer :

answer:This essay seems more like an entry into a diary or a journal. Frankly it is a bit boring. It needs pizzazz! It needs some energy and style; sparkle, vitality, glamour. Go back through it and attempt to rewrite it in the third person without all the I, my, mine, ours and me’s and replace them with his, her, it, their and them. Think about what major ideas and or feelings that you want to convey and concentrate on that. Is this essay all about you or is about the complex situations, feelings and good friends on graduation day?
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