answer:@dopeguru I don’t mean to sound harsh but…you need to get yourself into some major therapy. Your poor choices in relationships, your phobias, none of us here are therapists but it is clear you need some help overcoming some of your issues. Forget about men, forget about meeting new people, ( I am assuming you mean men, if I am wrong, my apologies ) and make a commitment to yourself and your future well being. You are not relationship material at this time, whether that is in a romantic sense or even seeking new friendships. I truly wish you well but ask-public is not a mental health forum and many of us have already spent countless hours advising you. Find a qualified therapist.