People take advantage of me... how can I be firm about what I want?

People take advantage of me... how can I be firm about what I want?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:One thing that someone advised me a while ago is to say, “Let me think about it before I answer.” Give yourself time to process and don’t give an automatic yes. When you do get back to them, say, “I’m sorry that’s not going to work for me” and do not offer any explanations. If they persist, just repeat, “That’s not going to work for me” and end the conversation. Not easy to learn to do but it works. And keep remembering that you’re allowed to say no to people.
by

Related questions

Why don't people want to sit there? (a bus riding study).

Description : Why don't people want to sit there? (a bus riding study).

Last Answer : I am sorry, are these consistently the same spots in this thought experiment or do they vary in each instance?

I dont want to become famous but i love making videos?

Description : I dont want to become famous but i love making videos?

Last Answer : fame & fortune should go hand in hand. If you can earn a living doing something you enjoy, you will be better off than most of us. Fame may be the necessary price you must pay. Of course those ... called business . But you should feel you are reasonably paid for the insult. You must set your price.

What Is something you would not want to find In your bed ?

Description : What Is something you would not want to find In your bed ?

Last Answer : Laughs, a bat?

Are you really certain you want to give your life/secrets to Facebook for free?

Description : Are you really certain you want to give your life/secrets to Facebook for free?

Last Answer : So Facebook makes educated guesses about users based on human interaction that they’ve observed? What exactly is the danger here?

How do you find someone you want to follow on Fluther?

Description : How do you find someone you want to follow on Fluther?

Last Answer : He’s not around here any more.

What difference do you want to make in the world?

Description : What difference do you want to make in the world?

Last Answer : I try to smile at everyone I see to bring a little happiness into their day. You never know if you are the only one who’s shown someone a kindness that day and sometimes that is just what they need.

Major global disaster strikes! Do you want to survive?

Description : Major global disaster strikes! Do you want to survive?

Last Answer : I would want to go on until my position was inarguably untenable. Since, given your scenerio, there would be no other options, I would have to give it up.

Would you want your child to marry outside their race?

Description : Would you want your child to marry outside their race?

Last Answer : answer:I have zero qualms about inter racial relationships. My daughter is 23 and her boyfriend is half Filipino. I’d love him to become my son-in-law, not to mention he makes the best Lumpia ever! LOL

What would I need to equip myself with If I could take a journey through your mind?

Description : What would I need to equip myself with If I could take a journey through your mind?

Last Answer : A flashlight to shine on the true aspects of my personality.

How long does it take for something to be considered vintage in your opinion?

Description : How long does it take for something to be considered vintage in your opinion?

Last Answer : My breasts are vintage. They’ve seen several different users, they’ve been through a lot, and they’re over 20 years old.

How to make people like me?

Description : How to make people like me?

Last Answer : I would think just try being interested in people’s lives that you want to get to like you. Ask them pertinent questions about themselves or their activities. Many people enjoy talking about themselves. So just ask away and listen!

How do people talk nonstop, when I pause and it takes me time to think?

Description : How do people talk nonstop, when I pause and it takes me time to think?

Last Answer : answer:They are basically speaking their thoughts out loud while they are thinking them. Where as you probably are trying to take time and make sure your words come out the way you want them to. Some people don’t think BEFORE they speak. I am guilty of this.

Why do girls give me a mean stare?

Description : Why do girls give me a mean stare?

Last Answer : I think I have that problem, too. So serious am I!! Need to smile a LOT more!!!

Why is it when some guy stares at me they give me a mean look?

Description : Why is it when some guy stares at me they give me a mean look?

Last Answer : This guy might just look like that. Some people squint, and scrunch their face when they need glasses. They don’t even kow they are doing it, mostly.

Can you help me with this situation?

Description : Can you help me with this situation?

Last Answer : He is probably multitasking, and it just slips his attention. I have very dear friends who do the same, and they never mean to ignore me. They simply try to focus on so many things they get distracted. ... it. Also, if his provider is not so good, his signal strength may be cutting out on him.

Mah Mama always told me...?

Description : Mah Mama always told me...?

Last Answer : “If it hurts when you breathe, don’t breathe.”

Tell me about your valentine's card to give this year? :)

Description : Tell me about your valentine's card to give this year? :)

Last Answer : In all the 127 years of my life I have never done that.

What do you think of me? Can you ever get honest answers?

Description : What do you think of me? Can you ever get honest answers?

Last Answer : Can I answer here. Intimidating.

How would you feel if you were a senior/manager in an office and was really into jewellery and a junior (me) got a bigger diamond engagement ring than you?

Description : How would you feel if you were a senior/manager in an office and was really into jewellery and a junior (me) got a bigger diamond engagement ring than you?

Last Answer : answer:Personally, I wouldn't care. I don't like be rings anyway and I don't see the point in having a huge ring. When my husband and I talked about rings, I told him that I didn't want anything bigger than ... in mind, I'd be happy for you that you had a nice ring and go back to what I was doing.

What do you think of people who put alumni license plate frames on lousy cars?

Description : What do you think of people who put alumni license plate frames on lousy cars?

Last Answer : Sounds overthought to me. They’re just proud of their university, even if they’re not at a financial status yet where they can be proud of their car.

Do poor people think they're smarter than you?

Description : Do poor people think they're smarter than you?

Last Answer : I have way more patience with them than I do with arrogant people that think the only wisdom comes from wealth.

Im afraid of new people?

Description : Im afraid of new people?

Last Answer : answer:@dopeguru I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to get yourself into some major therapy. Your poor choices in relationships, your phobias, none of us here are therapists but it is ... health forum and many of us have already spent countless hours advising you. Find a qualified therapist.

Why are people afraid to "speak ill of the dead?"?

Description : Why are people afraid to "speak ill of the dead?"?

Last Answer : answer:I'm not afraid, it's just etiquette, or what's expected is to not speak I'll of the dead. Possibly there is superstition mixed in, it sounds like a superstition, but I don't know a ... think of one other person I know who spoke well of their father/husband dying, because he was so abusive.

What do people over 40 talk about?

Description : What do people over 40 talk about?

Last Answer : I talk about football, healthcare, science, family, traveling, television, music, food, weather, hot topics. I’m 44 and hopefully remember what I wrote come tomorrow. You know, because I’m old and senile now. (joking)

Considering all the people you know or have ever known, which gender appears the happiest?

Description : Considering all the people you know or have ever known, which gender appears the happiest?

Last Answer : Based on my personal experience, I’ve met more happier men.

Why is it so funny when people hurt themselves?

Description : Why is it so funny when people hurt themselves?

Last Answer : It isn’t.

What should more people keep in mind?

Description : What should more people keep in mind?

Last Answer : The reason behind things is what to bear in mind!

Do you think people tend to get more or less social as they age?

Description : Do you think people tend to get more or less social as they age?

Last Answer : answer:I have found, in my ongoing but informal surveys, that the social butterflies remain socially active and the quiet ones, like me, tend to remain truer to themselves. I do far less tradtitional ... and terrified of spending too much time alone, makes sure that her dance card is always full.

When in the course of their lives and how do people become men and women?

Description : When in the course of their lives and how do people become men and women?

Last Answer : I’m settling in with popcorn. Okay, wasabi peas and mixed nuts. But still…

What are the different reasons people request to Follow You on Twitter?

Description : What are the different reasons people request to Follow You on Twitter?

Last Answer : I have no idea why people follow me on Twitter, but they do. I rarely tweet. I use twitter more to keep up with things that are happening news wise and in relation to my work field. I have over 50 followers though… and some have followed me recently. Odd.

What are some cool phrases the young folk are saying today to stay current when dating much younger people?

Description : What are some cool phrases the young folk are saying today to stay current when dating much younger people?

Last Answer : As long as you don’t refer to facebook as ”the facebook” you should be fine.

Do you like to help people?

Description : Do you like to help people?

Last Answer : It’s not one or the other with me. I help when I want to,not on demand.

How many people live inside of you?

Description : How many people live inside of you?

Last Answer : I'm not good at this. I've never been good at putting on a face, and when I try it usually fails miserably. I never did well in drama, I'm a hideously bad liar, and I'm horrible at hiding my ... face always gives me away. So, aside from polite Enuf and relaxed Enuf, I don't think there are any more.

Do you find people with names like Star, Precious or Tray have a harder time in life as they grow or do you think it seems to make no difference at all?

Description : Do you find people with names like Star, Precious or Tray have a harder time in life as they grow or do you think it seems to make no difference at all?

Last Answer : In school, I was called by my nickname, Archie. I think that alone accounts for a lot of the abuse I took. That abuse, of course, had an impact on my personality. Things may be different now, because so many names are daft.

Term for meeting more people near elevators?

Description : Term for meeting more people near elevators?

Last Answer : Those areas are like a ‘hot spot’ of socializing. I guess that’s what I would call it. A social hot spot. Or a common meeting place. I don’t know of a specific term, but I can think of a few describing words that would work.

Are you interested in meeting the people who fluther?

Description : Are you interested in meeting the people who fluther?

Last Answer : There are some I would love to know and be able to talk to live.

If you're about to speak in front of a bunch of people (presentation, speech), how do you remain cool and not make a complete fool of yourself?

Description : If you're about to speak in front of a bunch of people (presentation, speech), how do you remain cool and not make a complete fool of yourself?

Last Answer : answer:I had to develop public speaking skills which I then used for decades. My trick was to know my subject and then take brief notes on 3 5 index cards. It got easier as time went on. For a worrier, I ... 'll have to do a little research. May I get back to you? See me when I am finished here.

Why are people private about their ages?

Description : Why are people private about their ages?

Last Answer : Because we do not want to be put into a little box in someone’s mind of how they think we are.

Why do people feel the need to think out loud?

Description : Why do people feel the need to think out loud?

Last Answer : It helps me think. Really. It helps to hear what is being said in a way that mentally saying it doesn't do. We all process information differently and clearly, you do fine listening to your ... . You actually process the information differently if you say it and hear it instead of just thinking it.

How do you respond when people get your name wrong?

Description : How do you respond when people get your name wrong?

Last Answer : Like this?

When you're at a concert/show/etc. and you need to move down your isle, do you give people your ass or your crotch?

Description : When you're at a concert/show/etc. and you need to move down your isle, do you give people your ass or your crotch?

Last Answer : answer:Ahh…a quote from Fight Club… I think for technical reasons, it’s easier to face away from the person you’re trying to pass; the flex of your knee away from your adversary allows you to maneuver past them a lot easier.

Is it offensive for white girls to wear Chiapas?

Description : Is it offensive for white girls to wear Chiapas?

Last Answer : The whole idea of so called cultural appropriation is nonsense. People have been influenced by other cultures throughout all history.

Why does no one go to the chat section?

Description : Why does no one go to the chat section?

Last Answer : If no one is there and I have nothing to just chat about, what is the point?? I have other things to do besides sit around waiting for someone else to just come along. And there are people there from time to time, you just have to catch them when they’re “in.”

Flutherites: Do you like/admire some users and loathe others, even when BOTH may have views opposite of yours?

Description : Flutherites: Do you like/admire some users and loathe others, even when BOTH may have views opposite of yours?

Last Answer : I think that is basically the nature of human relationships, we would likely be bored if we could easily define what we like or dislike about everybody. There are people here I like a lot that I would ... everything, but whose very presences on this site irk the crap out of me. Same in real life.

Wife SS increase to 50% when I collect my SS if born after 1954?

Description : Wife SS increase to 50% when I collect my SS if born after 1954?

Last Answer : Go in person to your local social security office. You will get correct answers there and not guesses from people that aren’t sure. Welcome to Fluther!

Is it legal to screenshot quotes from random academic essays and not cite them on instagram?

Description : Is it legal to screenshot quotes from random academic essays and not cite them on instagram?

Last Answer : Do you give artistic credit to any photo/art you have ever taken a screenshot of that wasn’t your own? I would think it’s the same idea.

Phone number verification?

Description : Phone number verification?

Last Answer : Verify through email instead.

What to do when feeling fear and it doesn't stop?

Description : What to do when feeling fear and it doesn't stop?

Last Answer : Go to the best hamburger joint in town, order up 2 large burgers with the works including cheese, a large order of fries, and a large chocolate milkshake. After you’ve eaten all that, you will feel better.

Anybody have fun ideas to get attention at a busy intersection?

Description : Anybody have fun ideas to get attention at a busy intersection?

Last Answer : Free beer.

How can I improve my social life?

Description : How can I improve my social life?

Last Answer : Join a club - you have hobbies that can be solo hobbies but they can also be done in a group. Running club. Reading group at the local library. Scrapbooking club, scrapbooking group. Photography club. You ... if they want to go to the coffee shop, local bakery or local bookstore. They may say yes.