We, my wife and I, found it best to disconnect when things got too emotionally charged. We would tag team with each other. When one got to worked up, we would self-impose a time out and the other would take over being the responsible one until tempers cooled down. When they were younger it was the kids we put in time out, exiled to their room for a while. As they got older we found it easier to take ourselves out of the picture. Most often it was something as simple as retreating to the bedroom and locking the door for a while. Other times it was get out of the house. You can use this time to do something worthwhile like grocery shop or change the oil. What you do does not matter as much as allowing yourself time to calm your mind. Another thing is to pick your battles. The teen years are a time when they are trying to exert their independence from parents/authority and most are not ready (they also know they are not but are not likely to admit it during periods of confrontation). Knowing, or rather deciding, what is important and what is just not worth the effort of fighting about is something that helps keep the conflict to a minimum. It is also where two heads are better than one. When you are in the midst of dealing with an emotional teen meltdown it is sometimes hard to be realistic and you find yourself giving an over importance to minor things. This is when the other parent, the one who has not been arguing for the last hour, lays a hand on your leg and suggests that, perhaps, this is something that can be fought over another day. Having someone at your side who is still being rational is such a blessing.