When I had my first child I was hospitalized for 9 weeks at the end of my pregnancy because of a low lying placenta which caused bleeding. I got used to the life in there and felt safe knowing that if anything happened I had people on hand to help. After I had my son I had to stay in for 10 days as I had a c-section and back then they insisted we stay for that many days after surgery. I found myself getting very weepy and I dreaded the day I would have to leave and look after him myself. When I was allowed home it was not the joyous occasion I imagined it would be. I found myself having strange thoughts. I thought I would wake up in the night, walk in my sleep and throw my baby out of the window. I know how ludicrous that sounds now but at the time it was a very real fear and I was afraid to go to sleep. I had other dark thoughts too but less serious and in the end I went to my doctor and was diagnosed with mild post partum depression probably brought on by hormonal changes and the long stay in hospital. Once I knew what was happening to me I got better and I attended a group with other mothers who had it far worse than I did. It helped to share experiences and I recovered quickly after that but I know for some it can go on for much longer and prevent bonding with their baby.