What would be the opening & closing lines in your autobiography?

What would be the opening & closing lines in your autobiography?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… … yes, yes, I said yes, I mean yes.
by

Related questions

Will AstroChuck be opening a school for smartasses, and if so, what subjects will he teach?

Description : Will AstroChuck be opening a school for smartasses, and if so, what subjects will he teach?

Last Answer : Why would smartasses want to go to school? I mean they think they know everything already! And I’ve got to tell you, that’s really irritating to those of us who really do!

What are the worst pickup lines you have ever used?

Description : What are the worst pickup lines you have ever used?

Last Answer : I havent but my friend who was 17 used ‘You’re hot, lets hump?’ He didnt end up getting her but she couldnt stop laughing :)

Favourite pickup lines!

Description : Favourite pickup lines!

Last Answer : “Have we met in a past life?” “No” “Then would you like to meet me for the first time?”

Some memorable opening/closing lines from a book?

Description : Some memorable opening/closing lines from a book?

Last Answer : It was the day my grandmother exploded. – The Crow Road (Iain M. Banks)

It's your worst nightmare. You are standing in front of a crowd of thousands, delivering a speech. Everyone starts laughing loudly. You look down, and uh-oh, what's wrong & how do you react?

Description : It's your worst nightmare. You are standing in front of a crowd of thousands, delivering a speech. Everyone starts laughing loudly. You look down, and uh-oh, what's wrong & how do you react?

Last Answer : answer:That happened once - speaking to a crowd, zipper was open. Nothing hanging out, but still embarrassing. I said excuse me into the mic, turned around, fixed the problem, and moved on. ... happens to everyone it feels terrible to you when it happens, but the audience never remembers a thing.

You're an olympic sprinter & as you approach the finish line destined for gold, what could distract you that would scupper your bid for glory?

Description : You're an olympic sprinter & as you approach the finish line destined for gold, what could distract you that would scupper your bid for glory?

Last Answer : If my belly button fell off.

If you were an outlaw in the wild west, what would be a suitable nickname for you &/or your gang?

Description : If you were an outlaw in the wild west, what would be a suitable nickname for you &/or your gang?

Last Answer : The Dredd-ful Miscreants

What are some good/irritating tongue twisters that you know & can you say any without tripping up?

Description : What are some good/irritating tongue twisters that you know & can you say any without tripping up?

Last Answer : answer:Big black rubber baby buggy bumpers. She sells sea shells by the sea shore No, I can’t actually say them without tripping over my tongue. Fortunately, I don’t feel that my life is diminished in any way by not saying them, so I’m good!

Anyone from or have lived in, Germany? I have an exchange student here & I'd like to tell him a joke in German that he will find funny.

Description : Anyone from or have lived in, Germany? I have an exchange student here & I'd like to tell him a joke in German that he will find funny.

Last Answer : answer:Addition—I asked what his favorite movies are, he told me 3 of them.. they are… 1. Der Schuh des Manitu 2. Der Wixxer 3. Neues Vom Wixxer Hope that helps give you an idea of what he likes. He said they are comedy. I plan to watch them later, so I don’t know what they are like.

Mark the correct option relating to Senior citizen saving account a) Account opening form is Form A & for closing Form Eb) Pay in Slip Form Dc) Account transfer form is From Gd) All the above

Description : Mark the correct option relating to Senior citizen saving account a) Account opening form is Form A & for closing Form E b) Pay in Slip Form D c) Account transfer form is From G d) All the above

Last Answer : d) All the above

Consider the assertions given below. Which among them prove to be beneficial for Persistent HTTP connections? A. Reduction in latency over the sub- sequent requests B. Pipeline-oriented connection over the requests and responses C. Increase in number of packets due to TCP opens D. Prevention in opening and closing of some TCP connections a. A & B b. C & D c. A & C d. B & B

Description : Consider the assertions given below. Which among them prove to be beneficial for Persistent HTTP connections? A. Reduction in latency over the sub- sequent requests B. Pipeline-oriented connection over the requests and responses C. Increase ... TCP connections a. A & B b. C & D c. A & C d. B & B

Last Answer : a. A & B

Calculate cost of sales from the following: Net Works cost: Rs. 2,00,000 Office & Administration Overheads: Rs. 1,00,000 Opening stock of WIP: Rs. 10,000 Closing Stock of WIP: Rs. 20,000 Closing stock of finished goods: Rs. 30,000 There was no opening stock of finished goods. Selling overheads: Rs. 10,000 (a) Rs. 2,70,000 (b) Rs. 2,80,000 (c) Rs. 3,00,000 (d) Rs. 3,20,000

Description : Calculate cost of sales from the following: Net Works cost: Rs. 2,00,000 Office & Administration Overheads: Rs. 1,00,000 Opening stock of WIP: Rs. 10,000 Closing Stock of WIP: Rs. 20,000 Closing stock of finished goods: Rs. ... Rs. 2,70,000 (b) Rs. 2,80,000 (c) Rs. 3,00,000 (d) Rs. 3,20,000

Last Answer : (b) Rs. 2,80,000

If you had large enough chopsticks could you pick up Jupiter?

Description : If you had large enough chopsticks could you pick up Jupiter?

Last Answer : Well, I could, but then, I’m pretty good with chopsticks.

What are some measurement snafus' in history?

Description : What are some measurement snafus' in history?

Last Answer : A couple of years ago I watched an Air Crash Investigation episode where it was explained that the reason the crash had happened was because the person responsible to put the fuel in the tanks ... the pilots couldn't believe/understand it because the forms stated that it was correct (the volume).

How long did it take you to get over your grief?

Description : How long did it take you to get over your grief?

Last Answer : Six months, generally speaking.

What's the furthest in outer space that humanities trash has messed up?

Description : What's the furthest in outer space that humanities trash has messed up?

Last Answer : I recall a Tesla, type BS, was launched some years ago. Also, flags.

If you could cure any mental or physical illness what would you pick and why?

Description : If you could cure any mental or physical illness what would you pick and why?

Last Answer : Depression. I don’t have it but it’s hell on those who do.

What can you be trusted with?

Description : What can you be trusted with?

Last Answer : Almost anything; I have secrets from over fifty years ago.

What basic skills are you lacking?

Description : What basic skills are you lacking?

Last Answer : I have a lot of trouble with ziploc bags. I can do it, but it usually takes a lot of effort. I rarely use them.

What is something that you have maxed out?

Description : What is something that you have maxed out?

Last Answer : The fluidity of my stool.

What are a list of power ups in childrens stories?

Description : What are a list of power ups in childrens stories?

Last Answer : Getafix’s magic potion in Asterix.books. The magic bean in Jack and the beanstalk. The goose that laid the golden egg. James’ giant peach. The ring (and the magic swords, and the dwarven armor, etc) in The Hobbit…

Would Willhuff Tarkin have spared Alderaan if Princess Leia wasn't insulting him?

Description : Would Willhuff Tarkin have spared Alderaan if Princess Leia wasn't insulting him?

Last Answer : Of course not. The whole point was him making her witness the destruction of her homeworld, as an act of asserting dominance over her. Her betraying the rebels or begging him to spare the planet, ... knew that. No need for politeness. This also was not a diplomatic setting. She was a prisoner.

What are some funny last names that are accurate?

Description : What are some funny last names that are accurate?

Last Answer : Not funny, but often were accurate historically. Short, Taylor, Smith, Cantor. Some surnames developed from town names rather than skills. Some were the first name of the father. My maiden name means family of ... a coincidence or what. They didn't come to America, so I know very little about them.

Ever hear of a joke product like this in a spray can?

Description : Ever hear of a joke product like this in a spray can?

Last Answer : Spencer Gifts (are they even in business any more?) use to have dumb stuff like this. And you used to find ads for this stuff on the last couple of pages of Popular Science and Popular Mechanics. Seems like all that garbage was “made in Japan”

What is something that you have burnt yourself on enough times to stop touching the fire?

Description : What is something that you have burnt yourself on enough times to stop touching the fire?

Last Answer : The door of the stove, honestly. It’s been three times/winters now. Here’s to hoping this coming winter will be without burns.

What is the future of someone who gets a cut perfectly down their fate line?

Description : What is the future of someone who gets a cut perfectly down their fate line?

Last Answer : He needs surgery at one point in his life, recovers perfectly, and goes on to tell the tale.

What was your favorite places to loiter growing up?

Description : What was your favorite places to loiter growing up?

Last Answer : A classic teen hangout spot in my area was the creek (that is, the San Francisquito Creek, which divides Palo Alto from Menlo Park). There's a place to access the creek bed (which, because this ... didn't do a lot of loitering as a teen; we would more often be walking or driving around aimlessly.

What are some bad things to wish for that other people would think is a good thing?

Description : What are some bad things to wish for that other people would think is a good thing?

Last Answer : Children often wish they were adults. When they become adults they wish they could go back to be children.

What are some downsides from winning a dream home?

Description : What are some downsides from winning a dream home?

Last Answer : You have to take your shabby, old furniture and put it in a brand new house.

What is a reward for you that others see as a punishment?

Description : What is a reward for you that others see as a punishment?

Last Answer : Solitary confinement.

What is a humorous reason that you got that discount?

Description : What is a humorous reason that you got that discount?

Last Answer : Please forgive me, but there is no other way to tell this. A friend and I were traveling to Northern California to attend a wedding. The first night at our hotel we noticed a wet spot on the bottom bed ... desk and arranged to have new sheets put on the bed. We also got a 15% discount on our bill.

Are cowboy boots meant to prevent snake bites and to step in poop?

Description : Are cowboy boots meant to prevent snake bites and to step in poop?

Last Answer : No. They are made to fit the stirrup on a saddle and provide full foot and ankle protection below the chaps.

If you take care of chickens, does that make you a chicken tender?

Description : If you take care of chickens, does that make you a chicken tender?

Last Answer : Reminds me of a chicken prank that I tried when I was younger, but I just couldn’t “pullet”!

What is the worst job in the world?

Description : What is the worst job in the world?

Last Answer : Being a Slave.

Could most of our sacred religious beliefs a voilation of an alien prime directive?

Description : Could most of our sacred religious beliefs a voilation of an alien prime directive?

Last Answer : Yes. Whatever anyone could possibly believe.

When is it time, and not time to call 911?

Description : When is it time, and not time to call 911?

Last Answer : I call 911 whenever someone is kicking my ass, attacking me with an ax, or if someone has just fallen out of a tall building. Other times might include when a rabid dog bites your leg, or when ... they were going to kick my ass after school, I used to always call 911 before leaving the building.

Can you please explain President Biden's joke today?

Description : Can you please explain President Biden's joke today?

Last Answer : Are you talking about this, where Biden jokes about running over a reporter who asked if they could ask a question about Israel? Not enough details to know what you’re referring to.

Have you seen humorous types of sign wars?

Description : Have you seen humorous types of sign wars?

Last Answer : https://www.cbc.ca/kidsnews/post/photos-ontario-towns-hilarious-sign-war-gets-laughs-around-the-world?cmp=FB_Feed_CBCMain&fbclid=IwAR3O_g0oxd_YORjH30mpfXECy0DnchU-YDCTQXG59F6ovh1Ej6aiVE7C5N0

Do you have any funny insults?

Description : Do you have any funny insults?

Last Answer : The village called; they want their idiot back.

Heard any groaner jokes lately?

Description : Heard any groaner jokes lately?

Last Answer : SQUEEKY2 What is the difference between a shower curtain and toilet paper?

What is a miracle that you accomplished something?

Description : What is a miracle that you accomplished something?

Last Answer : People accomplishing things are not miracles. That’s just doing the work; calling it a miracle discounts someone’s efforts. Miracles are all around us, we just have to be open to witnessing them.

Do you distinguish between humor and sarcasm? between humor and snark? between humor and wit? between humor and satire?

Description : Do you distinguish between humor and sarcasm? between humor and snark? between humor and wit? between humor and satire?

Last Answer : They are all sub-categories of humour.

So if Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben are gone, where does that leave Cracker Jack?

Description : So if Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben are gone, where does that leave Cracker Jack?

Last Answer : Cracker Jack isn’t pejorative. People who go to Cracker Barrel are self identifying.

Why did Betty and Barney Rubble adopt Bam Bam?

Description : Why did Betty and Barney Rubble adopt Bam Bam?

Last Answer : Because Barney was infertile. Hey, did you know that their last name in the German version was “Geröllheimer”?

Why does it seem that black people are more likely to find violence funny or something to be proud of?

Description : Why does it seem that black people are more likely to find violence funny or something to be proud of?

Last Answer : I do not accept the premise of this question.

What is the funniest thing you have seen, heard, been a part of? Would it be considered funny now?

Description : What is the funniest thing you have seen, heard, been a part of? Would it be considered funny now?

Last Answer : There’s a video of a screaming goat (non-violent. ) It’s very simple. But it makes me laugh, every time. It hasn’t gotten old…

Do you have a funny video to lighten the mood?

Description : Do you have a funny video to lighten the mood?

Last Answer : Here is a funny scene from one of may favourite movies of recent years.

What weird things do you do?

Description : What weird things do you do?

Last Answer : No comment. I wouldn’t want to start a fad.

(Humor time) What are some questions that a job candidate should never ask during an interview?

Description : (Humor time) What are some questions that a job candidate should never ask during an interview?

Last Answer : Can I get the next week off? I’m trying to use all my unemployment insurance.

How to avoid drama in your life?

Description : How to avoid drama in your life?

Last Answer : Having roommates was constant drama. Years ago, when my husband and I were still just dating, we shared a house with his brother and his girlfriend. There seemed to always be some kind of drama ... never know we had such a bad falling out but it was pretty miserable during those months together.