answer:I like your plan, with one major addition. The very first thing he should do is tell his wife about this child, and the feelings he’s having about getting into contact with her. FWIW, I had to hunt down my birth father against his wishes in order to meet him. I was 18 when I did it, and though he was reluctant to meet me at first, we developed a close relationship because of it. Not a father-daughter relationship, but a good one nonetheless. He got to know me and to see his first grandchild before he passed away.