Should a father make an attempt to contact his adult child?

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:I like your plan, with one major addition. The very first thing he should do is tell his wife about this child, and the feelings he’s having about getting into contact with her. FWIW, I had to hunt down my birth father against his wishes in order to meet him. I was 18 when I did it, and though he was reluctant to meet me at first, we developed a close relationship because of it. Not a father-daughter relationship, but a good one nonetheless. He got to know me and to see his first grandchild before he passed away.

Related questions

Description : Do children have regular "earlier than adult" bed-times anymore?

Last Answer : All my grands definitely do.

Description : As an adult, have you had a sibling die?

Last Answer : My youngest brother died of cancer of the throat caused by too much smoking and drinking. The two things he liked best in life were talking and eating and he couldn't do either in the end. So sad. ... my father died, then he started again, so he knowingly contributed to his own death. I miss him.

Description : Did you ever have a chance to confront your abuser (as an adult)

Last Answer : I agree that's the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. I would never abuse someone because I didn't feel loved . (I would never abuse anyone.) I think it was a power trip or he ... viewpoint. @Mama_Cakes I have nothing but admiration for you for being able to discuss this. You are a warrior.

Description : Any adult children of divorced parents?

Last Answer : My mother divorced her second husband when I was in my teens. They are still friends, but we all learned that some people were never meant to be more than that.

Description : Did you ever realize, when you became an adult, that the "love" you thought you were getting from your family when you were growing up was not love at all?

Last Answer : I think it's very true a lot of times because children's reality is what happens at home, and there's usually nothing to replace home. It's not until you get older and realize that other parents treat ... over. While this is not abuse per se, it does create a skewed environment to grow up in.

Description : If you're an adult when your mother remarries, is her new husband your stepfather (even though he had no hand in raising you)?

Last Answer : answer:Yes, I believe so. My father remarried when I was in college. I refer to her either as “my stepmother” or “my father’s wife”. I think she prefers the latter, since “stepmother” has a negative connotation (from Cinderella).

Description : Would you keep trying with your biological father?

Last Answer : It always befuddles me when children whose parents treat them like dirt spend the remainder of their lives hoping for some miraculous character redemption common to fairytales. You must realistically assess the situation. What has changed to alter your dad’s status as severely damaged goods?

Description : Who was the better father to Son Gohan?

Last Answer : Piccolo. Much more civilized, refined, mature.

Description : What does it mean when your father is afraid to tell other people you're gay?

Last Answer : P.s. I’m from China.

Description : How do I express to my Father that my Mother is scared of him?

Last Answer : Call social services in your area. You have to be her advocate.

Description : Sesame Street is introducing a new character whose father is in prison. Good or Bad? Is there a meta-message?

Last Answer : Just like all of those kiddos who were influenced by Bert and Ernie living together and decided to be gay because it’s normal, I suspect we’ll see in increase in crime because a show will be representing prison as normal~.

Description : Could my father get me for defamation if everything I say can be proven true?

Last Answer : answer:If you are going to write to him, use real, old-fashioned pen and paper and send the letters as registered mail. That way, you have old-fashioned records. Keep your language moderate. ... vitriol or personal attacks, no matter how justified. What's your older brother's opinion? Good luck.

Description : Would you call your father on Father's day if she was transgendered?

Last Answer : Why not just call and talk? You don’t need a pretext. Still your biological father (from what I’m reading here), and it’s the thought that counts.

Description : What was it like to have a father growing up?

Last Answer : I'll be interested to see how people interpret this Q. For me, it simply was, I knew nothing else, my Dad was always there. I am a Single mother by Choice, however, and my daughter has said ... , that our situation was normal for her, she never knew differently so she couldn't comment on the lack.

Description : My ex-husband's father died. Should I go to the funeral?

Last Answer : answer:Any acknowledgement will be appreciated. If you have the time to attend the funeral, then do so. Our ex-SIL attended our sister's memorial service, despite the divorce from our brother being ugly ... was when she was our sister'. Her gesture helped heal a long festering wound on all sides.

Description : Your father calls and leaves a message that your aunt died, only he named the wrong aunt. Funny or sad?

Last Answer : Just confused. I don’t think it’s either funny or sad. He probably didn’t want to leave a voicemail, and people get all sorts of jumbled up once a voicemail starts off on the wrong foot.

Description : What three things reminds you of your father?

Last Answer : Aircraft carriers, Cuban cigars and Packard convertibles.

Description : In a family without the presence of a culturally idealized father, how is the societal holiday of Father's Day handled?

Last Answer : If there is no father or grandfather, there’s nothing to handle. Don’t make it complicated when it isn’t.

Description : Do I need to file a tax return for my deceased father?

Last Answer : Probably. Talk to an estate attorney.

Description : Did you try to "spare" family members when you were a child?

Last Answer : I only tried to spare them how bad I was.

Description : What are some things that you were ungrateful for as a child?

Last Answer : answer:Pretty much everything I was a kid! lol I think you have to learn to do without before you can know how good you have it. My parents were all about attaching strings. Nothing was ever given but ... reminded where it came from and what you had to do to keep it/make sure there would be more.

Description : What book would you want your child to certainly read?

Last Answer : answer:The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. We’re working on The Hobbit now. I also hope he takes a liking to Rudyard Kipling and eventually Poe and Lovecraft. They’ve been lifelong favourites of mine.

Description : Why do you think so much emphasis is placed on child abuse and not elderly abuse?

Last Answer : Children are the real innocents in our culture.

Description : Do you think it's crazy when parents don't feed their child dinner as a form of punishment?

Last Answer : If done regularly, it can be considered child abuse. I can’t imagine using that form of punishment.

Description : When court ordered child support ends, what do most people do after if the kids don't want to go to college?

Last Answer : answer:Tell them that, at 18, they must support themselves. That means get a job, go into the military (same as getting a job) or go to school. You are no longer financially responsible for them, and their mother should not be either.

Description : When your parent gets old enough to need assisted care, is it the responsibility of the child to give up their life and move back home and take care of them?

Last Answer : answer:It depends. If you want to, yes. If you do it out of duty, and resent them because you are doing it, no. If you have to put them in care, it's best to keep them in the same ... because so many of their children set them up and see to all their comfort and physical needs and then disappear.

Description : Do you secretly have a favorite ______? (child, sibling, parent, aunt.. etc)

Last Answer : Same for all .. if I’d start making favourites then I’d start making mistakes .. I hope I’ll never do them.

Description : Is it right to throw yourself a baby shower for your 4th child?

Last Answer : They can throw a baby shower. And you don’t have to do anything about it. Girl things are different than boy things, so it’s not totally crazy.

Description : How old is too old in a child for parents to walk around in underwear?

Last Answer : I don’t see any problem with that. My young children have seen me and their mother naked. We go swimming naked in a lake every summer, all four of us. And we regularly soak in a hot tub naked too. To be seen in underwear then is, for me, totally harmless.

Description : What relation would your cousin's child be to you?

Last Answer : Well this is hard to answer because one’d have to know if the cousin in question is a first, second or whatever cousin.

Description : What are some of the things that, as a child, you wanted to be when you grew up?

Last Answer : I wanted to be a ballerina just like every other little girl. Now i’m into forensics.

Description : Is it possible for two blue-eyed, blonde-haired people to have a dark-haired, brown-eyed child?

Last Answer : She might be adopted. That’s not a bad thing.

Description : Is there anyone among your blood relatives who have totally separated themselves and refused to speak to or see a parent, a sibling, a child, an aunt or uncle or cousin?

Last Answer : Yes. My grandmother's cousin left her kids one day and no one has heard from her since. She'd be dead by now. No one knows why she left. A few of my cousins refuse to speak to my sister, and my ... . We had to beg her to come see my mom before she died. I know lots of people with similar stories.

Description : Who would you chose, wife or child?

Last Answer : I would need more information. Why is she unconscious? How far along is the pregnancy?

Description : What do you miss most about being a child?

Last Answer : I miss the fact that I never even knew that people could judge me.

Description : How would you react if a very religious person accepted his sons being atheist and gay?

Last Answer : Sounds like a good dad to me. The message question is tricky, as receiving skills are as important as sending skills. He could think he’s sending one message, but an entirely different one might be received.

Description : Would you be concerned if Donald Trump appoints his family to key political positions?

Last Answer : answer:I’d be way concerned if he was even in a position to do that. I’d be amused if he tried to do it after losing the election.

Description : My husband does not defend me when his parents disrespect me behind my back , what should I do ?

Last Answer : answer:I literally live with a woman who thinks I am the actual spawn of Satan, who honestly believes I'm trying to slowly starve my dog to death (because I monitor the amount he eats, due to his breed) ... to talk to me the way she does without saying anything, I'd punch him in the dick. Honestly.

Description : May I please request prayers/positive thoughts for my husband and his family?

Last Answer : WillWorkForChocolate I am so so sorry for you and your family. Of course you can have my prayers and my special thoughts. Pull together with everybody and support each other.

Description : Does expressing concern over my partner's smoking help or hinder his journey to quit?

Last Answer : I've never had a girlfriend who told me to quit. BUT when I was 17, my grandmother - God rest her soul - was sat with me in her living room. She smoked like a train. If it wasn't 20 a ... , maybe you could try to persuade him to get an e-cigarette. No stink, just nicotine in water vapor basically.

Description : Is his opinion correct? (Details inside)

Last Answer : Is he talking adoption, or her being pregnant?

Description : How do I help my fifteen year old son get through his first heartbreak?

Last Answer : Awww. Maybe can you share a dissappointment you had when you were a teen. Let him know he is not alone in these matters. I think probably he will recover quickly from this, hopefully he has an opportunity soon to flirt with a girl and get an ego boost.

Description : Should I tell my close brother what his teenage son confided with me?

Last Answer : why do you think his father needs to know? To what purpose?

Description : Why would a person attempt to contact a total stranger by phone and on Facebook after seeing their photograph in the newspaper?

Last Answer : answer:He sounds like a creeper, and maybe you should have someone stay with your mother if you're concerned about her safety? Maybe he just thought you were pretty and wanted to start up a conversation ... I still think he's just a creeper that you should take action about if he contacts you again.

Description : Do you think i should attempt to write a book about my father?

Last Answer : Your dad’s story sounds wonderful. If it inspires you, it may well inspire others. Why not, jamzzy? I say go for it. You could join this thread to report on your progress and get support.

Description : Sister doesn't seem to care much if I may not make it to her wedding?

Last Answer : Wait for her to finalize the date before you get upset. Maybe it won’t be when you’re thinking it will be.

Description : When naming your children, what names didn't make the cut?

Last Answer : answer:My second child was either going to be called Rachel or Megan. Then I heard a song that mentioned a name and I liked it. I also always thought I'd use my mother's maiden name and my father's ... names just did not suit him. I looked down at his little face and knew they weren't right for him.

Description : My in laws will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this weekend. What can I do for them that will make it a bit special?

Last Answer : Take some board games for the kids to play.

Description : How does visiting your family, make you feel?

Last Answer : answer:Something I noticed after I spent a good amount of time away from my family: I had grown, but they wanted to slot me back into who I was when I was 16. I love my family and ... often tread on people's feelings. It is good information to know when you've hurt someone's feelings inadvertently.

Description : How do I make really nice color copies of old pictures?

Last Answer : Have someone take what is called an internegative with very good lighting, from a stand, of the image you want to duplicate, and then you can have prints made from the new negative in any format you wish. The process does not hurt the original, because you are merely photographing it.