answer:The guy is an ass. The “just kidding” piece is a way of him saving some face when he says something that he knows is wrong. You’re not going to change him, and apparently his wife isn’t either. I don’t see why she puts up with it, but these aren’t people I know. I’d say that since she lets it continue, she is an accomplice to hs being an ass, which tells you something about her. It comes down to you and your tolerance for nasty people. Is your friendship with her worth the rudeness and assholeishness that her husband brings? Only you can answer.