We have had dealings twice now with parents who were alcoholics. Now, the children we were dealing with were teens. Friends of our kids. The thing we did was to be there for them. When they wanted to get away, they could come to our house. No questions, no big discussions…just a safe haven to get away from their stress and worries. We didn’t talk much to them about their parents other than to say that if they ever needed to get away or to talk to someone about it, we were there. In both cases, the girls turned out great. The children of alcoholics recognize the problems. They know what alcoholism has done to their family. Warning them about it really isn’t necessary. The other thing to consider is how you would come off. Pompous and arrogant? If you are saying something now, why didn’t you say something to the parents? That you are running down their parents (who they likely still love)? You could inadvertently shut down lines of communication. If you say anything, keep it extremely simple. For example, in conversation with one of the daughters whose parent had just died, if the topic of their parent that died comes up, saying that you wish you had pushed harder to stop their drinking might be appropriate. One sentence. It doesn’t come off as a lecture, but it sends the subtle message that alcoholism was the cause.