What do comedians eat for breakfast? -Riddles

Description : You're sitting down for breakfast and realize you have 4 bagels left. You know you'll run out in four days so you cut them in half. How many bagels do you have now? -Riddles

Last Answer : 4 Bagels.

Mr. Brown was killed on Sunday after noon. The wife said she was reading a book. The butler said He was taking a shower. The chef said he was making breakfast. The maid said she was folding clothes, and the gardener said he was planting tomatoes. Who did it? -Riddles

Description : Mr. Brown was killed on Sunday after noon. The wife said she was reading a book. The butler said He was taking a shower. The chef said he was making breakfast. The maid said she was folding clothes, and the gardener said he was planting tomatoes. Who did it? -Riddles

Last Answer : The chef killed Mr. Brown because he said he was cooking breakfast but it was a Sunday afternoon.

A man was found murdered in his own house on a Sunday morning. His wife called the police. The police questioned the wife and got the following alibis: The wife said she was sleeping. The Cook said he was making breakfast. The gardener said he was picking vegetables. The maid said she was getting the post. The Butler (a personal assistant) said that he was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Description : A man was found murdered in his own house on a Sunday morning. His wife called the police. The police questioned the wife and got the following alibis: The wife said she was sleeping. The Cook ... the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Last Answer : The maid. There is no post on Sunday.

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking breakfast. The Gardener was picking vegetables. The Maid was getting the mail. The Butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Description : A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking ... closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Last Answer : It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no mail on Sunday! (next day air and email doesn't count)

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking breakfast. The Gardener was picking vegetables. The Maid was getting the mail. The Butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Description : A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: The Wife said she was sleeping. The Cook was cooking ... closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know? -Riddles

Last Answer : It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no mail on Sunday!

Do late-night TV comedians like Colbert, Noah, Myers and Bee serve significant social and political purpose other than pure entertainment?

Description : Do late-night TV comedians like Colbert, Noah, Myers and Bee serve significant social and political purpose other than pure entertainment?

Last Answer : I find the humor therapeutic. It is also helpful in keeping up with all this nonsense.

You often see self deprecating humor in British comedies and with Canadian comedians, but not so much with the U.S.. Why is that?

Description : You often see self deprecating humor in British comedies and with Canadian comedians, but not so much with the U.S.. Why is that?

Last Answer : Have you ever seen “Curb Your Enthusiasm”? Each episode, the wildly talented and successful Larry David put himself through the ringer.

Who are some of your favorite female stand up comedians?

Description : Who are some of your favorite female stand up comedians?

Last Answer : No, I can’t name a single one that I think is funny. Generally they talk about periods, tampons, and how bad men are. Not subjects I find funny.

If you were convicted of being too serious, and condemned to intensive comedic treatment, what 3 comedians would help you reverse the conviction?

Description : If you were convicted of being too serious, and condemned to intensive comedic treatment, what 3 comedians would help you reverse the conviction?

Last Answer : Jonny Carson, Jay Leno, John Stewart.

Can we wish a fond farewell to one of the hardest working comedians there ever was?

Description : Can we wish a fond farewell to one of the hardest working comedians there ever was?

Last Answer : Can we talk?

Are there any good comedians?

Description : Are there any good comedians?

Last Answer : I really liked John Pinnett but he’s dead now.

Which comedians do you find are funny without being anti-social?

Description : Which comedians do you find are funny without being anti-social?

Last Answer : Jimmy fucking Carr.

Should we put politicians on stage in comedy clubs, and comedians in office in government?

Description : Should we put politicians on stage in comedy clubs, and comedians in office in government?

Last Answer : I agree for some parts every government should have more humor about it.

If someone likes George Carlin, Louis CK, Bill Burr and Jim Jefferies, what other comedians would you recommend them?

Description : If someone likes George Carlin, Louis CK, Bill Burr and Jim Jefferies, what other comedians would you recommend them?

Last Answer : answer:I’ll tell you the ones I like and maybe some of those might sound interesting to you. Dane Cook, Chris Rock, Robert Kelly, Gary Gulman, Jay Davis, Donald Glover, Joe Rogan, Nick DiPaolo and Ron White.

Any stand up comedians in the house? Share your first open mic routine experience?

Description : Any stand up comedians in the house? Share your first open mic routine experience?

Last Answer : Heh, we just had a gig tonight. I was singing a song and I completely forgot the words (and this is a song that I've sung a gazillion times). Instead of fumbling around, I did an impromptu comedy ... about 5 beats, it came to me and I finished the song. It got the biggest applause of the night.

Who are some awesome and hilarious female comedians?

Description : Who are some awesome and hilarious female comedians?

Last Answer : Maria Bamford.

When do stand up comedians cross the line?

Description : When do stand up comedians cross the line?

Last Answer : answer:This comedian Steve Hughes talks about the idea of something being ‘offensive’. I thought the difference was that hate speech is trying to convince and persuade others rather than just express views, but I may be wrong on that!

With how many selections on this list of "truly bad comedians" do you agree?

Description : With how many selections on this list of "truly bad comedians" do you agree?

Last Answer : answer:Woah, woah, woah. #12. Stephen Colbert #35. Jon Stewart I object to these two.

Why do books not make you laugh as hard as standup comedians do?

Description : Why do books not make you laugh as hard as standup comedians do?

Last Answer : You haven’t read Douglas Adams yet, I take it: The Hitchhiker Trilogy (with four books) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy The Restaurant at the End of the Universe Life, the Universe, and Everything So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Can you turn me on to some comedians?

Description : Can you turn me on to some comedians?

Last Answer : Jim Gaffigan is my favorite.

Why is there so hard to find funny female comedians or good actresses? (see desc.)

Description : Why is there so hard to find funny female comedians or good actresses? (see desc.)

Last Answer : Sarah Silverman is a riot.

What are your favorite comedians and why?

Description : What are your favorite comedians and why?

Last Answer : George Carlin really is my absolute favorite. He’s the only famous person I ever looked up to. I also like Sarah Silverman a lot too, for reasons partly sexual.

Who are your favorite comedians, comediannes?

Description : Who are your favorite comedians, comediannes?

Last Answer : Sarah Silverman, Lisa Lampanelli, Kathy Griffen, George Carlin, and some other dead guy that I can’t remember the name of.

What do comedians do during commercial?

Description : What do comedians do during commercial?

Last Answer : Banters with the audience. Takes a good long drink of water. Might have a quick chat with a PA or stage manager or someone related to the production. Breaks are only about two or three minutes, so that doesn’t leave time to do very much.

Why does it seem like most comedians are liberal?

Description : Why does it seem like most comedians are liberal?

Last Answer : I think comedy is an art form that lends itself to certain demographics. The performers of said art are one’s that lend themselves to a “liberal” approach to politics. In other words, liberals are more likely to be stand up comedians.

How do I find famous stand up comedians in my area?

Description : How do I find famous stand up comedians in my area?

Last Answer : Do you live anywhere near AstroChuck, Bri L or Jack Adams?

Who are some comedians that are one of a kind and have a very distinctive comedic style?

Description : Who are some comedians that are one of a kind and have a very distinctive comedic style?

Last Answer : Sam Morrill's style is pretty distinctive I think.

One thing Jimmy Fallon does to impersonate the persona of other comedians is?

Description : One thing Jimmy Fallon does to impersonate the persona of other comedians is?

Last Answer : mimic the gestures and movements of the comedians.

Would it be OK to eat chocolate cake for breakfast?

Description : Would it be OK to eat chocolate cake for breakfast?

Last Answer : Listen, most breakfast cereals are mostly sugar anyway, while being marketed as a “healthy breakfast”. So eat your cake, it is fine.

Best breakfast place you have ever experienced ? What did you eat?

Description : Best breakfast place you have ever experienced ? What did you eat?

Last Answer : Bright spot resteraunt in Jasper Alberta. Ordered the eggs and potato Hash browns. The hashbrowns are the best part of the meal. Real slices of potato with the eggs. You have to order before lunch, or you will get frozen generic hashbrowns.

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you don't know whether to eat breakfast or lunch, or even dinner?

Description : Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you don't know whether to eat breakfast or lunch, or even dinner?

Last Answer : Nope I broke with convention years ago. I eat what I’m hungry for. The rest of the country started catching up with me when fast food started advertising breakfast all day.

[Fluff time] What don’t you eat for breakfast?

Description : [Fluff time] What don’t you eat for breakfast?

Last Answer : Grits

If humans were laying eggs on a regular basis, like industrial chicken, would it be normal for them to eat their own eggs for breakfast every day?

Description : If humans were laying eggs on a regular basis, like industrial chicken, would it be normal for them to eat their own eggs for breakfast every day?

Last Answer : answer:Most women don't drink their own milk, and I've only heard of a handful of people who have made their own beer or bread from yeast cultured from their own body - and those were unusual ... cup and uses her excreta to fertilize her plants. She says it puts her in contact with the goddess.)

What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Description : What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Last Answer : I do not eat breakfast.

On the weekend, do you have a special breakfast or is there a certain thing that you like to eat whether it's a work day or a weekend?

Description : On the weekend, do you have a special breakfast or is there a certain thing that you like to eat whether it's a work day or a weekend?

Last Answer : I do not eat breakfast.

What is the difference in the oats you feed your horse and the oats you eat for breakfast?

Description : What is the difference in the oats you feed your horse and the oats you eat for breakfast?

Last Answer : Husks

Morning Runners: What do you eat for breakfast and how long do you wait until the run?

Description : Morning Runners: What do you eat for breakfast and how long do you wait until the run?

Last Answer : Are you asking if I eat after or before I run?

What else can I eat for breakfast besides eggs?

Description : What else can I eat for breakfast besides eggs?

Last Answer : Yogurt Bananas Smoked fish with cream cheese on toast or one a them newfangled thin bagels Peanut butter on the same Shakes/smoothies (can add protein powder)

What do comedians eat for breakfast? -Riddles

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