What a teenager writes on Facebook may not be the whole truth, at all. OTOH what his father tells you, his ex, may not be the whole truth either. Sadly, this decision is a hard one to make. If you feel strongly about this, you should sue for custody. Your son may hate you, but he’s 14, that’s how it goes. You must stand by your instincts as a parent. If it were me and I thought my son was doing more than his normal share of teenage experimenting, I would fight but not use Facebook as my evidence. I would also have a good long talk with my son and ex. I can’t exactly picture myself in this situation, in general, but this is the best I can come up with.