Help, please, divorce and children issue?

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:I am not divorced, my parents were. It seems that there is little that your friend can do about the situation. It likely is your friend’s boyfriend that has a poor relationship with his ex-wife. In a situation like that children get caught in the middle with a lot of guilt for having feelings toward both parents. All your friend can do is discuss with her boyfriend, support him and make clear intents and agreements with him to always show visible support for his relationship with his children. Else, she runs a high risk of becoming their lightning rod, blaming her for their negative emotions in the relationship with their father.. Again: she – in my opinion – does best in continuing to show support for her boyfriends relationship with his children. For that reason she also better stay away from any trying to raise them / set them straight.

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