How can a dominant person let a more quiet one still have a say? How can a dominant person not turn into a dictator and still consider the needs of others?

1 Answer

Answer :

You could let the less dominant person have a “safe word.” When they say the safe word, it lets you know that you’ve passed their level of tolerance and you must stop, and listen to what they have to say. By giving them this word, it lets them know that you will listen to them and consider their needs, no matter what. It doesn’t have to be as blatant as a special word they say, either. You may just wish to make clear (especially in a work setting) that if they feel the need to come to you, you will set aside what you’re doing and hear them out. Have you done anything in the past that would make it seem necessary to ask you for the “nod,” or permission to visit the bathroom? (The bathroom thing might be simple mockery of a dominant approach you’ve taken too far in the past.) Another way that groups I’ve been in (not at work) allow everyone to have a say is the “talking stick” approach. An object (the “talking stick” – but it doesn’t have to be an actual stick) is passed around and the person holding it has the floor to speak. Some variant of this might work in a less formal office. Or, you could make a “suggestion box” or other anonymous, “safe” way for people to say things when they might be too intimidated to do so in person.

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