answer:I was doing fine until I saw your question and really thought about it.~ I’m sorry that you’re fighting despair, especially if that’s a full-time thing. But maybe part of the thing is, as with any big and overwhelming project, break it down into smaller and more manageable chunks. “Get through today”, then “get through this month”, then “get through this season”, and so forth. Of course, that would be just like doing a prison stretch, I suppose (not that I would know!) unless you were doing something else, even just watching someone else or some thing else grow or mature at the same time. What do you do to pass the time when you’re not busy full-time despairing? (I’m not trying to make light of your feeling, but there must be something keeping you busy, right?)