answer:I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking, but it seems like an open-ended question. Everyone is afraid of mistakes and tragedy. Sometimes mistakes can be prevented, but tragedy is inevitable. Chaos theory and coincidence have played a big part in the outcome of my life, but if you trace the chain of events back far enough, it starts with the death of one important person. Everything since then has been like dominoes. If that person hadn’t died, or when they did, I wouldn’t have been in certain places or met certain people afterward. It’s possible that I would be a completely different person, with a different life. It’s hard to say what kind of personal growth you get out of this, because there’s nothing to compare it to; you only have one life. OTOH, I’m the kind of person who only learns lessons the hard way. If this other life had happened, I might have been the most shallow, self-absorbed idiot of all time. Hopefully I’ve gained some thoughtfulness from these past events. To me, thoughtfulness is a big umbrella word with a lot of other ideas inside it, like rationality, curiosity, and kindness. I don’t like patting myself on the back for that if I even have it, knowing that it was learned at the expense of others. Like, “if this person hadn’t died, my life wouldn’t have gone the way it did, and I wouldn’t have become thoughtful.” OTOH, I wouldn’t mind going through my own hardships in exchange for thoughtfulness. Maybe it will lead me to different (better?) decisions in the future. That will certainly change the trajectory of my own future life, but hopefully I can also somehow improve the lives of others. That would be the real reward.