answer:I’m sure you’ll have a range of opinions on this one! Personally, I would not attend – fool me once, shame on me, etc. These parties sound like a bad time, which is not what a party should be. As to whether she (can we call her Simeon? I guess that’s an autocorrect issue, but I kind of like it) is toxic or not, I would tentatively say not, given the circumstances. You see her at most once per year, and she’s probably under the stress of seeing unfamiliar people in a social gathering. Who knows what she’s like in her normal life? I guess your friend is friends with her for a reason (though, admittedly, I’m scratching my head as to why). I’m with your husband on the not making an excuse; I would simply tell her that I can’t bear to spend an evening with the woman. It can’t be a secret to your friend that Simeon is awful to be around. Perhaps she’ll stop inviting her to these gatherings, and everyone can enjoy themselves in future.