How to Ask for Forgiveness
Have you ever tried asking for forgiveness? At one point in your life, you may have hurt someone wheter through your words or actions but while it is easier to just give flowers to signify your intentions, the more difficult part is asking for forgiveness yourself.
Would you like to ask for forgiveness and take an important step along your path of growth and enlightenment ? If so, here are some guidelines for asking for forgiveness:
Admit that you are wrong.
You have to admit first that you are wrong before actually asking for forgiveness. When facing the person, give a detailed account of your wrongdoings so that it is clear that both of you are on the same page.
Be prepared though to take some abuse when issuing the apology since the person may not be ready to accept anything that may come from your mouth. Be specific as possible and focus on just one issue first. For instance, if you were late for an appointment or date, do not apologize for your general tardiness but for missing that all-important date instead.
Take responsibility for your actions.
After letting him or her know of your mistakes, ask the offended party on how you can make it up to him or her. Do not offer any excuses and instead recognize your role in causing pain to another person.
Do not justify your actions or defend yourself. The apology is all about him or her and not you. It does not matter if the actions were intentional or not since the end result is just the same. The important thing is that the apology comes on your end.
Accept whatever feedback you may get.
After apologizing, take his or her cue. If the offended party wants you to leave, then do so. Do not force the issue and stress your point too much. If he or she accepts it then good for you. The important thing is that you have said your piece. Allow him or her enough time to process his or her thoughts and calm down.
Make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Include a promise that it won’t happen again to help rebuild the friendship and trust that were destroyed. The apology will be of no value if you will just continue the bad habit if disappointing people again and again. An apology should be an act of commitment to the relationship. You can only rebuild what has been destroyed if you change for the better.
Write a letter.
If a personal confrontation is just way too scary on your part, you may want to write a letter. You are not just doing this for the other person but also for yourself. Show some sadness for the pain you have caused.
Since asking for forgiveness is also an inner, personal process, you can write a letter that you can keep first. Show it to someone close to your heart and ask for some feedback. When you feel that the time is right, send the letter.