I'm taking care of a bunch of kids from ages 5-9 ; what are some good jokes for them?

I'm taking care of a bunch of kids from ages 5-9 ; what are some good jokes for them?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

Q: “What’s brown and sticky?” A: “A stick!”
by

Related questions

What are some good child-like Halloween jokes?

Description : What are some good child-like Halloween jokes?

Last Answer : Who did the zombie bring to the dance?

I am working in a day care center that has some kids that give me trouble. how can i get them to cooperate with me?

Description : I am working in a day care center that has some kids that give me trouble. how can i get them to cooperate with me?

Last Answer : Understand them better. http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/ages.stages.2y.html

Why does the stuffed animal I bought for my baby nephew say it's only for ages 5 and up?

Description : Why does the stuffed animal I bought for my baby nephew say it's only for ages 5 and up?

Last Answer : There may be decorations and pieces sewn on that could choke a younger child if they come off (little kids put lots of things in their mouths). Other concerns are moving or dangling parts that a child ... get recalled'. So please heed the warning, because it really is better to be safe than sorry.

Between the ages of 0 and 10, at what age are ********* and Birthday presents the least important to the child?

Description : Between the ages of 0 and 10, at what age are Christmas and Birthday presents the least important to the child?

Last Answer : Why not give each kid 3 gifts? Tee hee. Sorry. I’d give the 1 year old 1 gift and the 9 year old 5. The 1 year old doesn’t give a toss just yet.

I have a 5yr old who will fight you so hard when it comes to taking him to time out. What is a good way to get them there without having to drag them?

Description : I have a 5yr old who will fight you so hard when it comes to taking him to time out. What is a good way to get them there without having to drag them?

Last Answer : The fighting and the dragging is attention. Negative attention, but still attention. As soon as the fight starts, hands off and walk away. Period. Say “I don’t like the screaming. Come back to me when you want to behave.” and walk away.

I received a bunch of Threadless t-shirts. Unfortunately, I ordered a size too big and now I'm going to toss them all into the wash to shrink. Will the colors run?

Description : I received a bunch of Threadless t-shirts. Unfortunately, I ordered a size too big and now I'm going to toss them all into the wash to shrink. Will the colors run?

Last Answer : Why not return them for the right size? But if you want to wash them, check whether the label says the dyes are colorfast or not. If the washing instructions sound fnicky, I would wash them one at a time in cold water, then you could dry them all together for the shrinkage.

Are there ever times your kids behave so obnoxiously and rudely that even you as a parent want to hit them?

Description : Are there ever times your kids behave so obnoxiously and rudely that even you as a parent want to hit them?

Last Answer : What is this “wants to” crap?

Have you had any experience with parents in public doing things with their kids that they think makes them look like good parents, but just the opposite impression is actually given?

Description : Have you had any experience with parents in public doing things with their kids that they think makes them look like good parents, but just the opposite impression is actually given?

Last Answer : I’m pretty sure when I lived in the south and I saw a parent whack their kid on the ass for misbehaving that parent thought people around them would think well of the parent for doing something to discipline their kid.

Unaccompanied children are crossing the US southern border in record numbers. Is this a US immigration crisis, making them undocumented immigrants, or is this a bigger international humanitarian crisis, making these kids refugees?

Description : Unaccompanied children are crossing the US southern border in record numbers. Is this a US immigration crisis, making them undocumented immigrants, or is this a bigger international humanitarian crisis, making these kids refugees?

Last Answer : answer:They expect 90,000 in the 2014 fiscal year. That's a lot of people, in my opinion. According to the article, and common sense, word will spread and more will come. ... ?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3As%2C%5B%22RI%3A8%22% I am not thrilled that we're going to be supporting all these people.

Parents: Do your kids have pierced ears, and how old were they when you got them pierced?

Description : Parents: Do your kids have pierced ears, and how old were they when you got them pierced?

Last Answer : Yes, 18 months. Cultural.

Do you know of kids who have had to grow up with older parents who obviously had them at a much older age than usual?

Description : Do you know of kids who have had to grow up with older parents who obviously had them at a much older age than usual?

Last Answer : answer:Yes, I worked with two guys. One his parents had him when they were in their 40s. He seems to have suffered childhood fine,. He grew up on an island though, kind of cut off, The other, an ... at nursery school, but it did not matter in the greater scheme of things. She did not suffer from it.

Adoption: do you really need your kids to have your DNA within them?

Description : Adoption: do you really need your kids to have your DNA within them?

Last Answer : answer:I didn't. I married my wife just after her divorce, when she had two girls ages 3 and 1. They've always known me as Dad and as the guy who raised them. I've always ... and can report that genetic inheritance is way overrated in its importance at determining how your offspring relate to you.

Do you drop off your kids for B-Day parties (age 4 yrs or so) and leave them if you don't know the parents/family?

Description : Do you drop off your kids for B-Day parties (age 4 yrs or so) and leave them if you don't know the parents/family?

Last Answer : I don’t have kids, but I can’t imagine just leaving them there under those circumstances. Then again, as a cashier in a grocery store, you’d be amazed how many people would leave their kids with me (but take their purse with them) when they ran back to get something.

Kids are curious and often cruel, we know this. If you had a child of mixed ethnicity, a non-anglo looking child, would you counsel them in ways to answer questions others have about, "what are you- where are you from?"?

Description : Kids are curious and often cruel, we know this. If you had a child of mixed ethnicity, a non-anglo looking child, would you counsel them in ways to answer questions others have about, "what are you- where are you from?"?

Last Answer : My mom had me say, “I’m human. What are you?” when I was too little to think of my own answer.

The children living next door are being horribly abused by their parents. The only way to stop the abuse is to adopt the children and care for them in your home. Would you?

Description : The children living next door are being horribly abused by their parents. The only way to stop the abuse is to adopt the children and care for them in your home. Would you?

Last Answer : answer:Absolutely. edited for poor spelling Oh, and also - I'm a survivor myself, and I can't stand seeing other kids suffering. I know I can't save everyone, but in this hypothetical situation, there's ... adopt a few children at some point in the future. My husband and I both want a large family.

Are there any hilarious jokes in kids movies that you're surprised made it into the film?

Description : Are there any hilarious jokes in kids movies that you're surprised made it into the film?

Last Answer : There is this scene from the Hunter x Hunter anime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3tcy3R2T8U Watch their eyes at the 1 minute mark.

Should Catholics or Jews be banned from taking in foster children?

Description : Should Catholics or Jews be banned from taking in foster children?

Last Answer : I think anyone who is religious should be banned. Why stop at just Catholics and Jews? Why not Mormons too, at least?

Is CPS allowed to publicize their reasoning for taking children away from their guardians?

Description : Is CPS allowed to publicize their reasoning for taking children away from their guardians?

Last Answer : No. CPS issues are only accessible by another CPS worker. It's supposed to be confidential, so if I am aware of someone having an indicated report, or other issue, I am not supposed to ... person, and people have been arrested for that (for looking/accessing information they had no reason to).

Has anyone read "The Taking" by Dean Koontz?

Description : Has anyone read "The Taking" by Dean Koontz?

Last Answer : It blows. It’s a phoned in cop out that made me angry I even bothered to read the book. kill the dogs

Do you keep an open mind when taking parenting advice from others?

Description : Do you keep an open mind when taking parenting advice from others?

Last Answer : I'm open to advice, but in the end I have to trust my own judgment based on what only I can know about my children. That said, I'm very reluctant to give advice to anyone else, especially if they ... a village to raise a child, but I'm less sure that the village should be trying to raise the parent.

What are some funny "knock knock" jokes that you care to share?

Description : What are some funny "knock knock" jokes that you care to share?

Last Answer : Knock knock! ~Who’s there? Interrupting cow! ~Interruptin—- MOO!

What are some funny video scenes I can show a bunch of entrepreneurs I'm teaching about sales and marketing?

Description : What are some funny video scenes I can show a bunch of entrepreneurs I'm teaching about sales and marketing?

Last Answer : This is a little NSFW, but it’s pretty damn funny. Depending on how your workplace is, you might be able to include it.

I'm sure this has been asked a bunch, but What (iPhone 4) case would you suggest?

Description : I'm sure this has been asked a bunch, but What (iPhone 4) case would you suggest?

Last Answer : The iSkin Revo 2 is pretty hardcore. It’s just not out for the 4 yet . . . I don’t know if you can wait, but it’d be worth it. And it has an option protector for the front, but if you don’t like it you can just leave it at home.

I'm having a presentation in a few days, and am not used to giving before a bunch of people. pretty scared. Any help?

Description : I'm having a presentation in a few days, and am not used to giving before a bunch of people. pretty scared. Any help?

Last Answer : I've never been a fan of speaking in public or in front of a group of people although I've had instruction on it (several times). The more I did it the easier it got but I never became ... make your experience a little more lighthearted and easy to get through. Best of luck on your presentation. :o)

My daughter's school offers yoga for kids, is it a good idea? She is slightly less than 5. Thanks.

Description : My daughter's school offers yoga for kids, is it a good idea? She is slightly less than 5. Thanks.

Last Answer : Does she WANT to do this?

So I'm stuck in the hospital and I need some cheering up. Does anybody have any good jokes?

Description : So I'm stuck in the hospital and I need some cheering up. Does anybody have any good jokes?

Last Answer : Oh man. I have more hospital time coming up for surgeries. I bought a dancing baby Groot to keep me amused. I’ll have to come back to post jokes.

I'm new here, and I see no tags for humor or jokes,so how do I find the chat room?

Description : I'm new here, and I see no tags for humor or jokes,so how do I find the chat room?

Last Answer : https://ask-public.campfirenow.com/d9528

What are some really creative things you've had kids have come up with?

Description : What are some really creative things you've had kids have come up with?

Last Answer : OK. I'll start. I don't know if this is creative or just strange! My almost 4 year old Grandson, who is a clone of his dad, almost in looks but especially in personality, has developed an ... around it for an extended hug, then kissed it before he left. Yeah. He acts exactly like his father.

Do you think we're too quick to diagnose kids as having some sort of emotional issue?

Description : Do you think we're too quick to diagnose kids as having some sort of emotional issue?

Last Answer : answer:No, although i don't know how it works over there in the US, but even if a child displays significant signs of Autism, the spectrum is so wide that its difficult to put a child of 1 yrs into any category ... when he was 7, 10 and 12 ..... So I agree with you and Judge Judy ...thats crazy.

Need some ideas on how to encourage my kids to clean up after themselves?

Description : Need some ideas on how to encourage my kids to clean up after themselves?

Last Answer : Stop giving them food and privileges.

Can you see the future for some kids at a very young age?

Description : Can you see the future for some kids at a very young age?

Last Answer : And then there’s this girl who turned her lemonade stand into a franchise for charity.

I need some suggestions, How do you keep kids quiet on a road trip?

Description : I need some suggestions, How do you keep kids quiet on a road trip?

Last Answer : answer:You kinda just gotta tolerate them. It’s your parents’ job to worry about the noise level. Have a good trip! :)

What are some ways for kids to earn some quick money?

Description : What are some ways for kids to earn some quick money?

Last Answer : mow grass. Knew a kid growing up that made almost 2 grand mowing grass.

How often did you bathe your kids?

Description : How often did you bathe your kids?

Last Answer : Pre-teen kids don't need a shower every day unless they got really dirty. Our obsession work cleanliness is certainly not health-related. I bathed my babies when they got really dirty. Then as they got ... necessary. Once puberty hit, I had to remind my boys to hit the shower more than they wanted.

What delightful things have your kids (or grandkids) done recently?

Description : What delightful things have your kids (or grandkids) done recently?

Last Answer : Well, I told a few stories about my younger son in that thread so I won't repeat them. My latest amusement is that my 4 year old granddaughter is showing great resourcefulness during the lockdown and was playing ... that would be at night and he'd miss us too much if he was away during the day!

Should kids and/or dogs be allowed in an office?

Description : Should kids and/or dogs be allowed in an office?

Last Answer : I am okay with occasional kids in the office, when school is closed and a parent has no alternative. But they can’t be disruptive. Since I live in an area with a lot of startups= “dog friendly” workspaces are popular, but I am not a fan of them.

How do kids bounce back like this, and why don't adults?

Description : How do kids bounce back like this, and why don't adults?

Last Answer : My grandfather explained it to me after my brother was sick, it went like this, “they’re closer to the ground.”

What kinds of questions by kids do you not give the answer to, no matter what?

Description : What kinds of questions by kids do you not give the answer to, no matter what?

Last Answer : “What is your credit card number?”

Do Youtube parents abuse their kids?

Description : Do Youtube parents abuse their kids?

Last Answer : Some of those parents need to be investigated.

Parents: how to teach kids not to be selfish with money?

Description : Parents: how to teach kids not to be selfish with money?

Last Answer : I’m not a parent, but my mom would literally take my money away from me if I ever even let her see me think about being selfish, while growing up. In your situation, my mother probably would teach me a lesson about being charitable and make me donate the toys to a local charity.

Parents: Do/did you consciously create quiet spaces for your kids?

Description : Parents: Do/did you consciously create quiet spaces for your kids?

Last Answer : Yes. Calm music. Also, does it happen when they’re tired? In which case, plug in some good movie that doesn’t have a lot of action and adventure. How old are they?

What happens to those kids we see trapped in strollers for hours during prolonged bouts of parental wandering in shopping malls?

Description : What happens to those kids we see trapped in strollers for hours during prolonged bouts of parental wandering in shopping malls?

Last Answer : Some children are just naturally quiet and enjoy sitting there watching the world go by. Unless you have actually followed the parents for hours, you can’t be sure the children aren’t let out occasionally. My grandsons loved their strollers for up to an hour or so, then insisted on getting out.

Do parents still pull out kids' loose teeth?

Description : Do parents still pull out kids' loose teeth?

Last Answer : I’d have to ask my son in Paris; don’t know.

In your opinion, what are the worst and best kid's books of all time?

Description : In your opinion, what are the worst and best kid's books of all time?

Last Answer : I do not know any kids’ books. But “Faust” by Goethe is pretty good.

Why have thirteen kids you don't want?

Description : Why have thirteen kids you don't want?

Last Answer : always fresh meat in the pantry?

Do you know what year your kids were born?

Description : Do you know what year your kids were born?

Last Answer : Note: I am not a parent. But I have noticed that most men I know, including my brothers, do not know when their kids' birth year is. I know when all of their kids were born and I know when ... Pure laziness. They can remember episode 6 of King of the Hill but other things are not important to them.

Have you ever known any kids who you thought were bad seeds?

Description : Have you ever known any kids who you thought were bad seeds?

Last Answer : I don't think I could actually say, bad seeds , as in natural born sociopaths but I have known several that were completely out of control due to wussy parenting non-skills. There was one ... guess he has kept his gun obsessions and desire to shoot things under the canopy of military service. LOL

Do you like playing and spending time with kids?

Description : Do you like playing and spending time with kids?

Last Answer : Yes, I love seeing kids smile! I have a nephew who I love to spend time with because he is so fun and adorable. Plus, you can learn a lot from kids :)

When you took your kids to visit other people, did you always make a point of having your kids clean up after themselves before you left, or did you feel it was their job, as a host, to do it?

Description : When you took your kids to visit other people, did you always make a point of having your kids clean up after themselves before you left, or did you feel it was their job, as a host, to do it?

Last Answer : When other people bring their dogs over to visit my dog, they pull all of her toys out but never put them back.

Did you teach your kids to clean up after themselves?

Description : Did you teach your kids to clean up after themselves?

Last Answer : answer:Not well enough. My kids are college age now and will both be moving out in the next few months. Tidying up has been a source of friction lately.