I was a fat kid, and I’ll tell you what.. there’s a difference between constructively trying to encourage healthy foods and more physical activity, while focusing on the health risks and benefits, and telling your kid that they are ugly or will be unloved or undesired as a result of their appearance. The idea isn’t to let your child be oblivious, it’s just to not deliberately make them feel like less of a person. You would address any other disease or illness in your child without insulting their self esteem, why should weight be any different?