What did gendering (or not) your kids teach you about your own gender identity?

1 Answer

Answer :

I’m not sure I fully understand what you are asking but here goes. I try to teach my sons how to treat women with respect and kindness, because that is the way that I want to be treated. As a woman I want men or at least the men in my life to treat me with respect and kindness. My daughter, I tried to raise her with opportunities that I felt that I didn’t have, but wished that I had. I think that I tried harder with her, to not stereotype her with too many gender norms, or at least not nearly as many as I was raised with. Is that what you want to know?

Related questions

Description : Parents: how to teach kids not to be selfish with money?

Last Answer : I’m not a parent, but my mom would literally take my money away from me if I ever even let her see me think about being selfish, while growing up. In your situation, my mother probably would teach me a lesson about being charitable and make me donate the toys to a local charity.

Description : Did you teach your kids to clean up after themselves?

Last Answer : answer:Not well enough. My kids are college age now and will both be moving out in the next few months. Tidying up has been a source of friction lately.

Description : How young is too young to teach kids how to shoot a gun?

Last Answer : I’m 27, and so far as I’m concerned, nobody my age should legitimately have access to a firearm. If your kid is younger than 50, there’s no reason to teach them how to kill another person with a firearm.

Description : Do you think it's okay to teach your kids that Santa Clause/ Easter bunny/ tooth fairy exists?

Last Answer : Myth and magic are fun for kids.

Description : Will you treat other kids like your own kids?

Last Answer : Yep. Those bastards get just the same maltreatment as my own spawn.

Description : What kind of alarms, window lights, or other things can I buy for my kids' room? They're going to be in their own room, on a lower floor, away from me...

Last Answer : http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&client=firefox-a&channel=s&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=HsH&q=portable+window+alarms&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=BFfPSriyF8iZ8AbQwajzAw&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=5 http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=495240

Description : What do you think of colour assigning based on gender?

Last Answer : I think it is out of date, and really not that followed, even for baby showers and nursery decoration.

Description : What book do you want to read about parenting and gender 'deviance' in children?

Last Answer : answer:I would be interested in the challenges faced and strategies employed in raising a child in opposition to the gender expectations the rest of society likes to impose on children. I know that's ... try to do so without allowing their child to get swept up in the politics of their parenting.

Description : Do you believe non gender-conforming children risk major problems?

Last Answer : From my research (and my PhD work expressly deals with this topic, among others), they are at risk for abuse by those closest to them and by other agents in society. I read the study in question ... the magic out of them and continue to do so with horrendous results. Thank you for sharing that link.

Description : Are you harder on your children who share your gender than you are on children who do not share your gender?

Last Answer : No because I only have sons , so not sure how I would treat a daughter.

Description : What do you think of raising children in a "gender neutral" way?

Last Answer : I think it would cause more issues than not. I think that at birth a person is naturally hetero-sexual and should thus be treated as such, if they were raised in-specifically they would have to look to outside groups and influences for the answer.

Description : If your 9 or 12 year old child just wanted to change their gender (assume for this question that there is no underlying medical need for it, the kid just wants to do it,) would you allow it?

Last Answer : Three conditions would have to be fulfilled first. 1. A psychatric evaluation must come to the conclusion that it really is a mind-in-the-body-of-the-wrong-gender case. 2. The condition must be severe ... . lead to depression and/or a higher suicide risk. 3. I need to have enough money for this.

Description : How do you, if at all, avoid others placing their gender norms on your children?

Last Answer : I would support my future-children in whatever they choose to do, but I hope that my sons are very masculine and my daughters are very feminine . you know, the football player son and the cheerleader daughter. I ... 't want to play sports and my son isn't artsy. But like I said, it's their choice.

Description : What can children teach adults?

Last Answer : - Good friends are not defined by race and status. - Good deeds should be done without any calculation. - Our irrational fear and prejudice stop us from discovering the treasures of life. - At the end of the ... much as you want when angry, but after venting don't hold on your bad mood for so long.

Description : What's the funniest or most ridiculous thing an adult tried to teach you as a child?

Last Answer : - Everything that begins with “if you , will come and eat you” – If you get too cold you will turn into a stone.

Description : Do you teach your kid about bullying?

Last Answer : When my son was scolding his younger sister, I intervened. I told him to go look up the word ‘browbeating.’ He eagerly ran to do that. He got the message. He doesn’t bully.

Description : When you were little, did your parents or caretakers teach you any nursery rhymes at all?

Last Answer : I'm 44, and yes. Mostly from my dad and books, actually. I knew Itsy Bitsy Spider, Mary Had a Little Lamb, The Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe, Old Mother Hubbard and many others. Ring Around ... I think I actually learned in school, playing at recess, which is kind of gruesome when you think about it!

Description : Have you had to teach your child a lesson about when not to do the things we usually encourage?

Last Answer : Yes, talking is the worst one. they learn to talk, and we are thrilled, but they won’t ever shut up.

Description : Do you teach your children to fight or fly? Or something else...

Last Answer : answer:I think you meant flee instead of fly . I wish I could teach kids how to fly. :P I suppose it depends on the situation. Running away is certainly a whole lot safer, but if it's a ... for what he did. Although telling an adult would probably be a better way to do it than hitting him back.

Description : What attributes do you think fathers naturally teach their sons?

Last Answer : The ones they are least aware of and don’t give a moment’s though to. Those are the ones that are picked up every day, “naturally”.

Description : Do you teach your children to beware of abuse by a Significant Other?

Last Answer : I have two daughters, one 28 and one 12. I raised my older daughter to be vigilant about the signs of impending abuse, and I have begun speaking to my younger daughter about never taking any shit from a boyfriend.

Description : Parents, do you make a regular effort to teach your child to be awesome?

Last Answer : unless their parents managed to teach them that screaming and crying was the only way to get attention, most of the kids I know are already pretty awesome. Also, I find that kids tend to develop strong ... if you let them, and as I see it, encouraging those interests can only lead to good things.

Description : What does it teach someone, when they have to ask to use the bathroom?

Last Answer : I think the main point in asking is so that the teacher knows where all children are and only one at a time is so that it is not a social activity. I never gave passes because I didn't want to ... unless it was an absolute emergency. I taught junior high by the way, and a few years of high school.

Description : Will Missouri pass House bill 208, that adds sexual orientation and gender identity?

Last Answer : KNOWITALL Hard for us to say, since you are the resident expert on the Show-Me State. Sitting here in my liberal bastion, I would be pleasantly surprised if it passes.

Description : How do I, as a straight parent, help my teen through a gender identity crisis?

Last Answer : answer:With love and total acceptance of where they are at. Any qualms you have, keep to yourself. And do a lot of reading - there are excellent books and online resources out there. PFLAG is a ... of gay and lesbian and transgender kids. You can look them up online as a place to start reading.

Description : Is Body Integrity Identity Disorder as genuine in your mind Gender Identity Disorder?

Last Answer : I'm the same as you though I'm not really sure why. I'm quick with sympathizing for people with GID but for some reason I just can't wrap my mind around BIID. I just watched a movie that ... called Armless. As the title implies he wanted both his arms amputated in order to feel whole .weird movie .

Description : Will society ever come to be so unconcerned with gender identity that males who don a feminine garment will be viewed no differently than females who wear men's items?

Last Answer : Ha, Ha. I find this question so funny, because societies differ so much over what is appropriate to wear, we have wonder where gender even applies. In the Middle East, men wear dresses. Here in the U. S. there is such a wide diversity of clothing, it is impossible to draw the line.

Description : Think of your partner + 5 closest friends - how similar are you in terms of race/sexuality/gender identity (details inside)?

Last Answer : Same nationality, Each from a different ethnic group, I am religion A, Three are religion B, One is religion C, One is religion D. All are straight as far as I know.

Description : How much of your identity is tied up with your gender?

Last Answer : Genes.

Description : Gender identity disorder?

Last Answer : DefinitionGender identity disorder is a conflict between a person's actual physical gender and the gender that person identifies himself or herself as. For example, a person identified as a boy may ... occur in many situations and appear in different ways. For example, some people with normal

Description : Travestism requires change of [A] Sexual orientation [B] Gender identity [C] Anatomy [D] Clothes

Last Answer : [B] Gender identity

Description : How often did you bathe your kids?

Last Answer : Pre-teen kids don't need a shower every day unless they got really dirty. Our obsession work cleanliness is certainly not health-related. I bathed my babies when they got really dirty. Then as they got ... necessary. Once puberty hit, I had to remind my boys to hit the shower more than they wanted.

Description : What delightful things have your kids (or grandkids) done recently?

Last Answer : Well, I told a few stories about my younger son in that thread so I won't repeat them. My latest amusement is that my 4 year old granddaughter is showing great resourcefulness during the lockdown and was playing ... that would be at night and he'd miss us too much if he was away during the day!

Description : What are some really creative things you've had kids have come up with?

Last Answer : OK. I'll start. I don't know if this is creative or just strange! My almost 4 year old Grandson, who is a clone of his dad, almost in looks but especially in personality, has developed an ... around it for an extended hug, then kissed it before he left. Yeah. He acts exactly like his father.

Description : Should kids and/or dogs be allowed in an office?

Last Answer : I am okay with occasional kids in the office, when school is closed and a parent has no alternative. But they can’t be disruptive. Since I live in an area with a lot of startups= “dog friendly” workspaces are popular, but I am not a fan of them.

Description : How do kids bounce back like this, and why don't adults?

Last Answer : My grandfather explained it to me after my brother was sick, it went like this, “they’re closer to the ground.”

Description : What kinds of questions by kids do you not give the answer to, no matter what?

Last Answer : “What is your credit card number?”

Description : Do Youtube parents abuse their kids?

Last Answer : Some of those parents need to be investigated.

Description : Parents: Do/did you consciously create quiet spaces for your kids?

Last Answer : Yes. Calm music. Also, does it happen when they’re tired? In which case, plug in some good movie that doesn’t have a lot of action and adventure. How old are they?

Description : What happens to those kids we see trapped in strollers for hours during prolonged bouts of parental wandering in shopping malls?

Last Answer : Some children are just naturally quiet and enjoy sitting there watching the world go by. Unless you have actually followed the parents for hours, you can’t be sure the children aren’t let out occasionally. My grandsons loved their strollers for up to an hour or so, then insisted on getting out.

Description : Do parents still pull out kids' loose teeth?

Last Answer : I’d have to ask my son in Paris; don’t know.

Description : In your opinion, what are the worst and best kid's books of all time?

Last Answer : I do not know any kids’ books. But “Faust” by Goethe is pretty good.

Description : Why have thirteen kids you don't want?

Last Answer : always fresh meat in the pantry?

Description : Do you know what year your kids were born?

Last Answer : Note: I am not a parent. But I have noticed that most men I know, including my brothers, do not know when their kids' birth year is. I know when all of their kids were born and I know when ... Pure laziness. They can remember episode 6 of King of the Hill but other things are not important to them.

Description : Have you ever known any kids who you thought were bad seeds?

Last Answer : I don't think I could actually say, bad seeds , as in natural born sociopaths but I have known several that were completely out of control due to wussy parenting non-skills. There was one ... guess he has kept his gun obsessions and desire to shoot things under the canopy of military service. LOL

Description : Do you like playing and spending time with kids?

Last Answer : Yes, I love seeing kids smile! I have a nephew who I love to spend time with because he is so fun and adorable. Plus, you can learn a lot from kids :)

Description : When you took your kids to visit other people, did you always make a point of having your kids clean up after themselves before you left, or did you feel it was their job, as a host, to do it?

Last Answer : When other people bring their dogs over to visit my dog, they pull all of her toys out but never put them back.

Description : Are there ever times your kids behave so obnoxiously and rudely that even you as a parent want to hit them?

Last Answer : What is this “wants to” crap?

Description : Do ALL 20 year old kids know EVERYTHING?

Last Answer : answer:I definitely knew more when I was younger. ~ My late teens and very early 20's I felt like I knew so much and other older adults just didn't or couldn't understand. As I get older I realize ... to me. Now, I would take classes I know nothing about, and be the first to admit I know nothing.

Description : How far do you agree with the article inside? Remember it's not about not loving your kids!

Last Answer : Well, gosh. All I can say is I’m glad I never had those kinds of feelings.