Hi @JoJo74 , and welcome to ask-public! Surprises just are not advisable for someone has had a lot on their plate. That goes for planning them, or experiencing them. Tell your friend you don’t feel comfortable having any surprises at this time, and that you would be much happier deciding for yourself how you would like to celebrate. Don’t let friendship get in the way of honesty. If your friend really is good for you, they will understand your position, and be glad you were honest. Some people have so much fun planning surprises they simply don’t understand how uncomfortable they are making the one they are surprising. Gently but firmly let him know you really want to celebrate with both eyes open, and plans which everyone can enjoy.