Why is it necessary to be “happy.” Not that I want you to be depressed and an emotional wreck, but I think you certainly can be sad about how you know you will miss him, and I’m sure it won’t be any surprise to anyone that you’ll worry about him, he is your son after all, and he’ll be far away. Try try not to be overly paranoid about the whole NK thing. I like to think Kim Jong-un is doing a lot of posturing, much like what our own president has done. He has to know his country would be pummeled if he did anything really crazy. I guess you can be happy about seeing him in the present, in the moment, and do something you know he will enjoy, even if it’s just a favorite meal or playing a board game. You’re a mom. You’ll be able to put on a smile for his benefit so he doesn’t have to worry too much about you. He doesn’t need that burden. If you believe in drug therapy you could get a Xanax to calm you down. From a doctor, I’m not recommending trying to get one from a friend.