I need advice with my friends, how do we get closer?

I need advice with my friends, how do we get closer?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

Thank you for trusting us with your situation. It took courage to write to us. Good on you! Making friends is always touchy. I suggest you relax when you’re interacting with them and be yourself. Proximity breeds closeness. Participate in activities with them, and let them get to know you. Gradually they will think of you as part of the group. I once moved to a new city. I had to find my own friends. I would arrange dinner outings with a group and instigate game nights. I did the work. Sometimes, no one was available. That’s just luck. Wasn’t my fault. After many months, I became a natural part of a group. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time. Take some deep breaths, and remember that making friends takes time. Good luck.
by

Related questions

I have recently became closer to one of my female friends, and I do think that I have feelings for her. We have been friends for about three years now, and I have not had the opertunity to show any interest in her because she is always dating someone. Would it be a bad thing for a guy to date one of his friends?

Description : I have recently became closer to one of my female friends, and I do think that I have feelings for her. We have been friends for about three years now, and I have not had the opertunity to show any ... she is always dating someone. Would it be a bad thing for a guy to date one of his friends?

Last Answer : To date her or to date one of your friends while you’re waiting for her? Whatever works.

I like to go out to hear live music, but often enough, my friends are not interested in going with me. Sometimes, I go alone, but I end up feeling a bit lonely, depending on the setting. Any advice for how I can make these experiences more enjoyable?

Description : I like to go out to hear live music, but often enough, my friends are not interested in going with me. Sometimes, I go alone, but I end up feeling a bit lonely, depending on the setting. Any advice for how I can make these experiences more enjoyable?

Last Answer : make friends while youre at the shows! the other people attending probably have a lot in common with you. & you could always take your mom ;)

Does Skype bring you closer to your friends and family abroad?

Description : Does Skype bring you closer to your friends and family abroad?

Last Answer : I do and I like it very much.:)

Can we get a rousing cheer for our Canadian friends who are celebrating 150 years?

Description : Can we get a rousing cheer for our Canadian friends who are celebrating 150 years?

Last Answer : SO glad to have you! Congratulations on 150 years!

How about if we use this thread for live Hurricane Matthew updates for our friends on the East Coast to inform us on how they are doing?

Description : How about if we use this thread for live Hurricane Matthew updates for our friends on the East Coast to inform us on how they are doing?

Last Answer : As long as I have power I’ll try and give updates for Charleston SC. The bad stuff should be Friday.

We choose our friends, we don't choose our family - have you "had to" tell this to yourself on occasion?

Description : We choose our friends, we don't choose our family - have you "had to" tell this to yourself on occasion?

Last Answer : We do choose our family because I don't think blood is thicker than water. If you're part of my family whether you came into it through a biological or otherwise connection, I will be more loyal to you ... I am not getting along with you, I have no issue with considering cutting you out of my life.

Can we still be friends?

Description : Can we still be friends?

Last Answer : You two can still be friends. I know many people who have feelings for each other and they are still great friends. Don't let those kinds of feelings cause you to lose a friend. Just call her and see if ... still want her to be your best friend. She's your BEST friend. You don't want to lose that.

Does one really need friends?

Description : Does one really need friends?

Last Answer : I do have times where I feel exactly like you. It happened to me because I lost trust in friendship because i find that people are generally selfish and often i find myself being dissappointed ... humans are socialable creatures and need companies in their life. So try to find the problem here.

Help me! I need help with feelings of anger and envy. Any advice?

Description : Help me! I need help with feelings of anger and envy. Any advice?

Last Answer : I haven't read either book, of course, but I will say that who we are draws in that which is what we are. If she is more outgoing and expressive she possibly draws more expressive outgoing people to her, hence ... of the day a book is only as good as its sales, that is if you are writing for money.

Need Objective advice on a Ex-best friend situation?

Description : Need Objective advice on a Ex-best friend situation?

Last Answer : answer:You kind of burnt your bridges when you told her you wished you'd never met her, etc. That right there is major drama. If you only lose two friends over this thing, you're fortunate. ... together, or something along that line. In other words, make your criticism be about you, not her.

I need advice regarding a roommate.

Description : I need advice regarding a roommate.

Last Answer : Maybe if he got some assistance with his depression he would be a better roommate.

Need advice on how to make some people agree over a topic?

Description : Need advice on how to make some people agree over a topic?

Last Answer : :)) i would do the same, however, i ran out of nukes… seriously now… even so (cut the alps from the list) how can i make the others understand that the alps are not the best choice?

I need birthday advice; would you help me please?

Description : I need birthday advice; would you help me please?

Last Answer : answer:I think you take the time to speak directly to the alpha dog/ring leader of this group and explain your feelings as succintly and politely as you did here . You might also consider being out of town ... have to grit your teeth and smile. And focus on the fact that it could always be worse .

What behaviour by family, friends or strangers can you not tolerate?

Description : What behaviour by family, friends or strangers can you not tolerate?

Last Answer : Blind loyalty to a cause ,religion, political party, with out even a try to listen to what the other said has to say.

Is it really important to you to exchange holiday gifts with your friends?

Description : Is it really important to you to exchange holiday gifts with your friends?

Last Answer : No. It was especially difficult when I had no money. I have no problem not receiving gifts, either. And your coworker is obtuse.

How often do you text, talk, or see your friends?

Description : How often do you text, talk, or see your friends?

Last Answer : I have an old fraternity brother that, other than one day last month, I had not seen in 15 years. He lives in Kansas while I am in California. He and I text 3 or 4 times a week, and chat ... not on a regular basis. The only friends I see on a frequent regular basis are people who are in recovery.

I am friends with someone who is nice to me but my friend group doesn't like them?

Description : I am friends with someone who is nice to me but my friend group doesn't like them?

Last Answer : It’s difficult to give you thoughts, because we don’t know the details about why the group ostracized Z. We don’t know if they acted unfairly. You have a very delicate balancing act to attempt. I wish you luck.

I lost all my friends and don’t know how to fix it?

Description : I lost all my friends and don’t know how to fix it?

Last Answer : I was snuffed out in university, because I admited to have a mental illness. My only advice is to focus on your studies. Adults usually stop bullying eventually. The rest end up on the street or in ... a saying. One cannot lose a true friend by being yourself, and every one else doesn't matter.

How do you rank your family, friends, or career for importance in your life?

Description : How do you rank your family, friends, or career for importance in your life?

Last Answer : Family and friends # 1, career if you want to call it that, is over. Semi Retired and working a part time job with a friends company. So pretty far down on the list. It’s extra money is all it is.

How to deal with best friends who are moving away?

Description : How to deal with best friends who are moving away?

Last Answer : It took a while, but in at least some cases, I’ve kept in touch with people via regularly scheduled recurring Zoom meetings and/or some shared context or things we do together or talk about.

If your friends say they don't want the Covid vaccine because the long term effects are unproven, do you try to talk them into it?

Description : If your friends say they don't want the Covid vaccine because the long term effects are unproven, do you try to talk them into it?

Last Answer : In the case you describe, no. In fact, in most cases, no. It’s been a year. People know what they know by now. If someone chooses to make decisions about themselves, fine. It may result in me making the decision to not hang around them, or only under very specific and controlled circumstances.

Help! I’m allergic to my friends!

Description : Help! I’m allergic to my friends!

Last Answer : Unfortunately there’s not a lot you can do. I love cats but am highly allergic and puff and wheeze, especially indoor/outdoor cats. I simply can’t be in the room with them or where they hang out for more than 15 minutes, so I don’t.

Does a business owner have the right to change their mind about offering services to friends for free?

Description : Does a business owner have the right to change their mind about offering services to friends for free?

Last Answer : First off, Welcome to Fluther! As to the deal between your wife and her friend, it sounds like they had different expectations from the deal. Was there anything put into writing up front? I think ... clothes they wore? I think being friends is the initial problem. They needed to talk more up front.

What's your favorite thing(s) you do to cope with solitude and don't have any friends?

Description : What's your favorite thing(s) you do to cope with solitude and don't have any friends?

Last Answer : I do the things I like (like going to art museums or going on hikes or long walks, or going to music performances). And if I crave company, I look for groups that do those things. A good place ... . And once you meet a few people, you can do things with them that are separate from any organization.

A question for those that have been diagnosed with a chronic disease or illness - did you make an effort to let extended family and friends know?

Description : A question for those that have been diagnosed with a chronic disease or illness - did you make an effort to let extended family and friends know?

Last Answer : No. I didn't tell anyone but my husband until much later. I had to figure out how I was going to deal with it myself before I started answering anyone's questions. I eventually mentioned it to friends ... much have stopped talking about it. I would not have wanted to be asked about it all the time.

How do you respond to your "friends" Facebook memes about being sad and lonely?

Description : How do you respond to your "friends" Facebook memes about being sad and lonely?

Last Answer : Respond with another meme?

How can I make friends here?

Description : How can I make friends here?

Last Answer : Welcome to Fluther. Answer questions. When you see an answer you find especially interesting, insightful, or good in other ways, give them props by tapping the great answer, and post a comment reflecting ... days, and sometimes come off snarky. I hope you will find a happy spot for yourself here.

Are you friends with anyone who has a spouse/partner that you don’t like?

Description : Are you friends with anyone who has a spouse/partner that you don’t like?

Last Answer : My best friend and former business partners wife and I tolerate each other. I am not her type, very few are, we rarely interact socially and when we do we are civil but we would not go out of our way ... do my best to get away unobserved and I am pretty sure the same goes for if she saw me first.

How many of your facebook friends do you actually hang out with in real life?

Description : How many of your facebook friends do you actually hang out with in real life?

Last Answer : Most of the people on my friend list have at least met me at one point. I don’t go around adding people for no reason.

I keep catching my friends hanging out without me. Should I stop talking to them?

Description : I keep catching my friends hanging out without me. Should I stop talking to them?

Last Answer : Find friend that you can relate, help and grow with. People change. You will change and sometimes the best thing to do so is leave those friends to their own paths as you follow yours in a different route.

Do you have any Facebook friends who neither post anything, nor comment or "like" or react in any way to anything you post?

Description : Do you have any Facebook friends who neither post anything, nor comment or "like" or react in any way to anything you post?

Last Answer : I am one of those people, or at least I was when I had Facebook. The main reason is that I just had nothing to post. Where I go, what I think, what did I wear, who I am with ... tired of Facebook. I just don't care about your statuses and inspirational quotes. And forwarding adds is just annoying.

Why do casual acquaintances wish to become FB friends?

Description : Why do casual acquaintances wish to become FB friends?

Last Answer : More than half of my Facebook friends are aquantiences – from past jobs, high school, college, meetup groups, etc. I think it’s normal, Facebook is about connecting with people, not just people you know really well. Just my opinion

Would you feel comfortable seeing a therapist if you had mutual friends on Facebook?

Description : Would you feel comfortable seeing a therapist if you had mutual friends on Facebook?

Last Answer : This is a good question. I have been in therapy for a very long time. My relationship with my therapist is very important, and I want the ability to talk about absolutely everything that is ... will receive my words because they know whom I'm talking about. I would choose another therapist.

How do you form a group of friends?

Description : How do you form a group of friends?

Last Answer : Welcome to Fluther. I see that at least two other people before me have marked this as a Great Question, and I agree. So if you don't mind - which is just a figure of speech, after all, because it ... skill, so let's see what comes of this question. I sure don't have an answer for you, though.

What famous people have your 30-something friends never heard of?

Description : What famous people have your 30-something friends never heard of?

Last Answer : Peter Sellers. We had a movie night for six years. We watched Lolita, Dr. Strangelove, and The Pink Panther series. Blank looks if you mention his name.

What does it mean if a guy friend keeps telling his friend that I like him (my friend’s friend) even though I have never spoken to his friend?

Description : What does it mean if a guy friend keeps telling his friend that I like him (my friend’s friend) even though I have never spoken to his friend?

Last Answer : answer:I'm bad with numbers. Let me see if I have this straight: Bill and Joe are friends. Bill is your friend, and Joe is not. Bill tells Joe you have feelings for Joe. You've told Bill to knock it ... If this is all correct Bill sounds like a bit of an idiot. Also he probably has a crush on you.

Do you have more real friends or virtual friends?

Description : Do you have more real friends or virtual friends?

Last Answer : answer:According to your definition, I have more real friends. I'm a pretty cautious person on the internet, and generally my social network friend list only includes friends that I have already known in ... then my real life support system just grew. And what is Trump doing here among the tags?

What do you feel you were most persecuted for by family and friends?

Description : What do you feel you were most persecuted for by family and friends?

Last Answer : I was prosecuted, not persecuted, for just causes, for the most part.

Have you ever gotten upset when you find out friends have gotten together and did not include you?

Description : Have you ever gotten upset when you find out friends have gotten together and did not include you?

Last Answer : answer:It really depends for me. For the most part, no, because I said no so often throughout the years in going to group events that people stopped expecting me to ever say yes . I'm really ... . I wouldn't outright get pissed at them or anything, but it might hurt my feelings to some degree.

I think I've outgrown my friends and I don't know what to do?

Description : I think I've outgrown my friends and I don't know what to do?

Last Answer : Common thing to do when you get into your early twenties and you may be a couple of years ahead of your circle of friends who still want to party. I certainly did at around age 21-22. I just ... should at times once you gigure out who your real friends are. Just not when it's bringing you down.

Graphic Designer: Do you charge friends for designs?

Description : Graphic Designer: Do you charge friends for designs?

Last Answer : Though you are probably correct in stating that your friends aren't cognizant of the effort involved in your working for nothing, the thing more likely to be unappreciated is the fact that you are deluged ... . Charging for your services is a sure method of bringing their minds to bear on the fact.

What would you do if your child was 17, moved to a new town with you, hates his new school, and misses his old friends terribly?

Description : What would you do if your child was 17, moved to a new town with you, hates his new school, and misses his old friends terribly?

Last Answer : Suck it up, do well in school, and know that you’ll be out of there soon enough and off to college on your own.

You win the lottery (800 million after taxes), more money than you could ever use yourself and friends, family and coworkers are looking for some financial gifts. Who would you give money to and how much?

Description : You win the lottery (800 million after taxes), more money than you could ever use yourself and friends, family and coworkers are looking for some financial gifts. Who would you give money to and how much?

Last Answer : I would absolutely toss a few million here. I’d split it up using the method I mentioned in this Q by @Here2_4: How will you spend my money? . It would be an investment.

How can I reconcile wanting friends and wanting to be left alone?

Description : How can I reconcile wanting friends and wanting to be left alone?

Last Answer : answer:Everyone needs some alone time. And online friendships are a great way to keep in touch. They aren't competing interests. I'm naturally introverted, with a tiny circle of friends. I'm single and don't have ... guitar class or a shift at the food bank, I will go. And I'm always glad I went.

Moved by the number of jellies filing past to send their wishes off, may I ask if some of our old friends will stay on?

Description : Moved by the number of jellies filing past to send their wishes off, may I ask if some of our old friends will stay on?

Last Answer : I’m canceling my Internet and cable to save money on October 21st. I will still have my Rodgers account but it only has a half gig of data per month so I won’t be on as much.

Why are my friends so ignorant?

Description : Why are my friends so ignorant?

Last Answer : I don’t think the definition of “ignorant” is what is being described here.

Is it hard for you to make friends?

Description : Is it hard for you to make friends?

Last Answer : Yes. My hypothesized reasons: 1. I don’t think I have popular interests. 2. I don’t have much money. 3. I don’t do many social things other than walking around. 4. I have low self-esteem.

Friends question: what would you do?

Description : Friends question: what would you do?

Last Answer : If you are asking him the same question directly. It would be a little inappropriate. Maybe you could just hang out on FB and chat for a while and out of the blues ask him about his plans on the day ... when you three (you.him.and his fiancee) can talk.. Go on and Chill everything will be fine☺!

Is it normal to hold hands with friends?

Description : Is it normal to hold hands with friends?

Last Answer : Yes, I think so. It'll depend on each person and each friendship, obviously, but I definitely think it's normal for a lot of people. I'm 30 and my best friend and I sit so closely on the couch sometimes ... as well call it cuddling. But we've known each other for 20 years, so it's not a big deal.

Do you have more inside jokes with your friends or your family?

Description : Do you have more inside jokes with your friends or your family?

Last Answer : Definitely with friends. And yes, it is an indication – I am much closer to my friends than my family.