A question for those that have been diagnosed with a chronic disease or illness - did you make an effort to let extended family and friends know?

1 Answer

Answer :

No. I didn’t tell anyone but my husband until much later. I had to figure out how I was going to deal with it myself before I started answering anyone’s questions. I eventually mentioned it to friends and family, but without much emphasis. I didn’t want others stepping in to try to manage me. My husband wisely left it to me. I never did tell my in-laws, not in more than 20 years. I knew they’d be bringing it up at every opportunity: “Should you be {eating | doing} this? Won’t it cause a problem with your condition?” “Will this {food | activity | flower arrangement} bother your condition?” “I know you might not {want to | be able to} X because of your condition.” Ugh. No thank you. I went through this once already. What was masquerading as consideration was really a nonstop passive-aggressive reminder of some deficiency or inadequacy. No amount of resistance, from light brushoffs to pleading, would get them to stop. So from then on I kept it all away from them. I wasn’t losing much in the way of support anyway. If it had been a different sort of disease or disorder, I might not have had much choice—especially if the symptoms were conspicuous and affected our interactions. Then I think I’d have been matter-of-fact about it, but downplaying it as much as possible. I’d have offered to answer all questions candidly up front. And then I think I’d pretty much have stopped talking about it. I would not have wanted to be asked about it all the time.

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