How much of your parenting is a reaction to how you were parented?

How much of your parenting is a reaction to how you were parented?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

Well, I’m not a parent, but I know that my parents’ parenting styles were modeled much after my mom’s parents’ parenting styles. Because that similar style seems to have worked for two generations, if I ever have kids, I will probably want to imitate that. Like I always say, no one parenting style is “right”, so I will at least start out imitating that style, but I will adjust accordingly.
by

Related questions

What are your thoughts on "helicopter parenting" vs "free-range parenting"?

Description : What are your thoughts on "helicopter parenting" vs "free-range parenting"?

Last Answer : I think a combination of both is good at an early age. A balance of both never hurt anyone when used correctly.

Do you believe that this is good parenting?

Description : Do you believe that this is good parenting?

Last Answer : Mom says she is a little soft lately. A taxidermist could take care of that.

Rude obnoxious kids, product of parenting, or they are just born that way?

Description : Rude obnoxious kids, product of parenting, or they are just born that way?

Last Answer : Products of bad parenting, from what I’ve experienced with neighbors and friends.

What is the single most thing that is important in parenting?

Description : What is the single most thing that is important in parenting?

Last Answer : Unconditional love

Parenting: What is the best way for a young child to handle bullying?

Description : Parenting: What is the best way for a young child to handle bullying?

Last Answer : answer:I think it was handled just fine. My daughter was being bullied in first grade regularly. As we taught her, she asked the boy to stop politely, two or three times. No joy. Then she told ... in the eye. Scared the shit out of him. Never happened again. Sometimes, polite words aren't enough.

Can some jellies help me unravel this parenting puzzle?

Description : Can some jellies help me unravel this parenting puzzle?

Last Answer : answer:Ask her leading questions and comply with her answers. Find her a surrogate parent with whom she can talk (and listen). Go to Lourdes.

What are some good interactive parenting forums?

Description : What are some good interactive parenting forums?

Last Answer : This is a big time call for help isn’t it?

What are your parenting goals?

Description : What are your parenting goals?

Last Answer : I have been there and done that. I never thought of having goals, but if I had they would all have been met.

Tag team parenting. How do you keep things normal?

Description : Tag team parenting. How do you keep things normal?

Last Answer : Museums are usually a big hit with our kids. A trip to the local playground/park to run off some energy sounds like it might also be a good idea.

Driving from N. Carolina to Disney World - is turning around the car because the kids are misbehaving and going home good parenting, or going too far?

Description : Driving from N. Carolina to Disney World - is turning around the car because the kids are misbehaving and going home good parenting, or going too far?

Last Answer : Whoops, forgot to post the follow-up on the same site: Me, my wife, and my 2 kids were driving to Disney World. After almost 12 hours, the kids started to fight. Angry, I shouted to them ... realize that I've wasted hotel fare, DisneyWorld fees, Gas, and clothing. All of it is nonrefundable. FML.

I really need parenting help/advice - Part 2?

Description : I really need parenting help/advice - Part 2?

Last Answer : You are the parent, you’re in control – smirk back and ignore it. Remember who is the adult here and continue with consistency.

What constitutes good parenting?

Description : What constitutes good parenting?

Last Answer : Being a good parent.

What are the best parenting sites on the web?

Description : What are the best parenting sites on the web?

Last Answer : There are tons of bad ones. I once ran into one where the sole purpose of the site seemed to be informing people about how genetics plays a larger role in a child's upbringing than the ... around stuff like that. I suggest you try StumbleUpon or something like it to search through popular sites.

Permissive parenting or progressive?

Description : Permissive parenting or progressive?

Last Answer : The only thing that is the same about them is they both start with a “P”

What do you think of this style of parenting?

Description : What do you think of this style of parenting?

Last Answer : i approve

At what point would you get involved with someone else's personal parenting techniques in public?

Description : At what point would you get involved with someone else's personal parenting techniques in public?

Last Answer : No, that video does not tell the whole story. Heck, I'm sure people have wanted to say something to me when I'm dragging my temper tantrum throwing child out of a store. And being pregnant, I ... the child's safety was truly at risk, like if someone is beating their child, or verbally abusing them.

Where should I look for alternative parenting resources (any kind)?

Description : Where should I look for alternative parenting resources (any kind)?

Last Answer : I've always been partial to Mothering magazine. http://www.mothering.com. What specifically are you looking for? Attachment parenting, vaccination info, cloth diapering, breastfeeding??

Parenting style question: What would you do in this situation?

Description : Parenting style question: What would you do in this situation?

Last Answer : answer:Well it depends on how the younger child is going to react to watching the older one get to go on the ride that she couldnt, if its an option that the older child be allowed to go on ... whole wait untill your 13 to watch pg13 thing anyways, my aunt is a over-protective nutjob.In my opinion.

What was your reaction to finding out you or your partner's unplanned pregnancy?

Description : What was your reaction to finding out you or your partner's unplanned pregnancy?

Last Answer : answer:I was 20 and had been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months when I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked. Of course I wasn't ready for a child at such a young age. My boyfriend had ... odds have been against us this whole time, but we managed to survive and give our children a happy home.

What would your reaction be to something like this?

Description : What would your reaction be to something like this?

Last Answer : answer:Either the child is by-lingual or the mother is trying to show a level of understanding to her child. Maybe they have their own special language, hey to each there own!

Do you parent as you were parented?

Description : Do you parent as you were parented?

Last Answer : I think you can adjust your style, if you put thought into it. There were things I really liked about my mom's parenting style (giving me loads of freedom, as long as I could prove I was being responsible ... to not fall into certain patterns, but as long as I'm self-aware, I try to avoid them.

Now that your children are grown, what is it you are most proud of in the way you parented?

Description : Now that your children are grown, what is it you are most proud of in the way you parented?

Last Answer : I’ll start. I’m proud that I always tried to be honest with my kids about things in an age appropriate way and that I did my best to acknowledge and own my mistakes.

As a child, when you were crying, did your parents ever threaten you with violence to make you stop?

Description : As a child, when you were crying, did your parents ever threaten you with violence to make you stop?

Last Answer : No. That sort of threat was usually reserved for inappropriate mirth.

Are you (or were your parents) (or would you be) a free range parent or a helicopter parent, or somewhere in between?

Description : Are you (or were your parents) (or would you be) a free range parent or a helicopter parent, or somewhere in between?

Last Answer : answer:I have been a 0 as a parent. I never objected to my kids going where they wanted, as long as I knew where they were. It was a dynamic tension between trusting them and letting ... ; they would never allow their sons to be in the same circumstance. I thought they were overly fastidious.

Is leaving the parents permanently and never looking back a perfect way to get over the wrong behavior they imposed on you when you were a kid?

Description : Is leaving the parents permanently and never looking back a perfect way to get over the wrong behavior they imposed on you when you were a kid?

Last Answer : Wing clipping is not allowed. Ignore for a while and live your life if they make you feel bad and deflate your self worth. Actively seek out groups that help with negative self talk because even if you ... them again it will be easier to take their negative nature's. Like water off a ducks back.

When you were a child, did you have any favourite family rituals?

Description : When you were a child, did you have any favourite family rituals?

Last Answer : answer:Every Thanksgiving at my grandparents, we would all gather in the basement after the meal and have dessert. We'd set up their slide projector and all look at old family photos while eating ... looking for more daily family rituals/parenting stuff. I guess I have my grandmother on my mind.

If a child did something deliberately awful to you, and the parents were light or even skipped punishment, what would you do?

Description : If a child did something deliberately awful to you, and the parents were light or even skipped punishment, what would you do?

Last Answer : answer:First of all, big difference between the two scenarios. If the kid broke or stole something, the parents don't get to shrug it off, they have to pay to fix or replace it ... things right the parents would need to apologize and also demonstrate that the child was appropriately disciplined.

If you were dating a woman like this, what would you think?

Description : If you were dating a woman like this, what would you think?

Last Answer : I would probably not like someone who would behave that way toward her sick child.

Were you abused as a child by your parent or caregiver?

Description : Were you abused as a child by your parent or caregiver?

Last Answer : answer:If you have not yet done so, I urge you to get counseling for dealing with the abuse. It is really the only way to heal. I can strongly recommend the book The Courage to Heal.

Were you damaged by the lies your parents told you when you were young?

Description : Were you damaged by the lies your parents told you when you were young?

Last Answer : answer:Nope. :\ I have nothing but fond memories of such things.

What were the most annoying, irritating things you hate that your parents did(or use to do when you was younger)?

Description : What were the most annoying, irritating things you hate that your parents did(or use to do when you was younger)?

Last Answer : My mom constantly blames me and calls me a liar, even before asking my brother if he knows anything.

If your parents ever beat you, do you feel that they were in the right?

Description : If your parents ever beat you, do you feel that they were in the right?

Last Answer : There are always alternatives to spanking or beating. It's just easiest to resort to physical punishment, and not sitting down with the child and make sure there is an understanding why they acted wrong. I ... need other help, that parents alone can't give them. They all need help in that matter.

How much screen time for kids?

Description : How much screen time for kids?

Last Answer : answer:We don't limit screen time at all. Our kids are ages 15, 12 and turning 9 next week. (Going into grades 4, 7 and 11.) None of our kids are overweight, they all get good grades ... bedtimes to ensure they get sufficient sleep, and we're definitely hands-on/involved with our kids at all times.

Have any of you ever had too much of a sheltered life?

Description : Have any of you ever had too much of a sheltered life?

Last Answer : Yeah. For a little while I was pretty sheltered. It effected things like how I socialize with people, it made me pretty insecure, it also is the reason why I hate leaving people in the house alone or being alone for ... to deal with it and now that I'm out of the house I'm a lot better than I was.

Is my son's behavior suspicious?

Description : Is my son's behavior suspicious?

Last Answer : No. I don't agree. According to this post your son has bipolar disorder and anger anxiety/related issues. His behavior is likely symptomatic of his condition - Not suspicious of whatever else you imagine ... person and keep calling him out . It just makes me wonder who's obsessing about what.

Why would anyone say such a thing? (See details)

Description : Why would anyone say such a thing? (See details)

Last Answer : Maybe your son does know the person.

How to deal with my parents?

Description : How to deal with my parents?

Last Answer : Not sure of the societal standards where you are from. But at 25, it is time to stand up to your father. When he comes to your house to harangue you, send him on his way. When he wants to tell you ... , but wouldn't get demanding or angry if they didn't take it. It is their lives to lead not mine.

Why do we call sending a child to his/her room as "grounded" ?

Description : Why do we call sending a child to his/her room as "grounded" ?

Last Answer : It was originally a piloting term that got borrowed by parents. When pilots aren't allowed to fly for some reason-including bad behavior-they are said to be grounded (since they are stuck on the ... want, the term got applied in that context as well (originally as slang, but then it stuck).

Can a parent hire a babysitter or nanny for 18 years?

Description : Can a parent hire a babysitter or nanny for 18 years?

Last Answer : I figure some rich people probably do.

How do you teach someone that they shouldn’t lie?

Description : How do you teach someone that they shouldn’t lie?

Last Answer : You point to our President as the model for what can be achieved through telling the truth.

Why do some dads act like their daughters are their sweethearts?

Description : Why do some dads act like their daughters are their sweethearts?

Last Answer : I can understand your discomfort. I guess it depends on how this parent’s generation were raised, it was a different time back then. It can also be a factor of the daughter’s own behavior and personality, some girls are tomboys so they require a more normal treatment.

If your father, or in some cases, mother hit you or abused you emotionally or sexually, how have you resolved/accepted/put it behind you?

Description : If your father, or in some cases, mother hit you or abused you emotionally or sexually, how have you resolved/accepted/put it behind you?

Last Answer : I have never entirely gotten over it. It is a life-long curse.

Are women more caring than men?

Description : Are women more caring than men?

Last Answer : Penguins and other birds, certain animals, seahorses share the burden. Human females carry the baby for nine months giving birth to a helpless baby, who remain that way til, well, 30 sometimes. I ... d say girls and women are usually the more caring, reliable and nurturing of our fucked-up species.

When did you move out of your parents or caregivers home?

Description : When did you move out of your parents or caregivers home?

Last Answer : 1966

What do you think about this punishment (details inside)?

Description : What do you think about this punishment (details inside)?

Last Answer : Good for dad!

Did you grow up with both biological parents?

Description : Did you grow up with both biological parents?

Last Answer : Yes

Current or Former Parents of Teenagers — What is/was your most effective coping mechanisms?

Description : Current or Former Parents of Teenagers — What is/was your most effective coping mechanisms?

Last Answer : We, my wife and I, found it best to disconnect when things got too emotionally charged. We would tag team with each other. When one got to worked up, we would self-impose a time out and the ... be fought over another day. Having someone at your side who is still being rational is such a blessing.

What is the difference between empowering and enabling?

Description : What is the difference between empowering and enabling?

Last Answer : Empowering enables the positive. Enabling enables the negative.

Did your parents support you, believe in you?

Description : Did your parents support you, believe in you?

Last Answer : No. They disowned me when I was 17. No loss. I disowned them at the same time!

Would you rather be super busy and have more money for your family or just get by and have a lot of time with your family?

Description : Would you rather be super busy and have more money for your family or just get by and have a lot of time with your family?

Last Answer : I’m a single mom with no family other than my 12 year old son. I need a balance. I work long hours when I have work and I just get by. I am used to busy. Would like a better paying job.