Do you parent as you were parented?

1 Answer

Answer :

I think you can adjust your style, if you put thought into it. There were things I really liked about my mom’s parenting style (giving me loads of freedom, as long as I could prove I was being responsible with it), but other things that I will try very hard to avoid (like the volatility, criticism, emotional outbursts, etc.). I will say it’s tough to not fall into certain patterns, but as long as I’m self-aware, I try to avoid them.

Related questions

Description : If you were the parent of the kid who went into the gorilla enclosure, do you think you would have gone in after him?

Last Answer : answer:Gorillas will kill the offspring of rival tribes. An adult going in after could have made the situation worse and right quick. A tranquilizer dart would be slower to react and possibly angered the ape. Prompt sniping was the best course of action.

Description : Was it easier to be with just one parent when you were a teen?

Last Answer : My parents were great but very different. My mom was a shy violet worrier who adored my dad. My dad was a take no shit combat vet with a heart of gold. They were sort of hoot to be around. Like a comedy team.

Description : How do you feel about "bathroom stuff" when it comes to caring for an elderly parent?

Last Answer : Another option: Bidet Attachments: Tools & Home Improvement – Amazon.cawww.amazon.ca › Tools-Home-Improvement-Bidet-Att… Results 1 – 12 of 5000+ — Bidet Attachments · Luxe Bidet Neo 120 – Self Cleaning Nozzle – Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet · Bio Bidet SlimEdge Simple…

Description : When a parent is about to be on the steet (homeless) do the children go to foster parents?

Last Answer : Ideal?

Description : When a parent wants to take their kids to a psychologist due to "behavior issues," do you think that part of the therapy should include installing a nanny cam in the house for a certain amount of time?

Last Answer : I think you're right about the parent's role in child issues. I went as an unofficial step-parent to meetings at a child rehabilitation center, and it was clear that most of the parents were in denial/ ... isn't going to want the camera, and/or will avoid abusing on-camera if they know about it).

Description : Which love is stronger and more unconditional: A parent's love for their child, or a child's love for their parent?

Last Answer : Generally, given natural bonding post-partum, a parent’s. Parental love sees beyond child separation, while much of childhood beyond age four and through adolescence is about establishment of a separate personality.

Description : How to tell a parent that you are mentally ill?

Last Answer : answer:It sounds like your need to minimize your contact with your mother. Create that healthy distance. Do you have a therapist you're currently talking to? If so, do they know ... to talk to your therapist about exploring this relationship - specifically about anxiety, control, and codependency.

Description : If one of your elderly parent had to move in with you how would your spouse react?

Last Answer : answer:My parents are in their mid-forties, so they certainly aren't elderly, but both my husband and I would be unhappy if they came to live with us. If it did happen, and I'm not sure either of us ... . We wouldn't be too keen on the idea of anyone from our families moving in. We like being alone.

Description : Why are there so many single-parent families nowadays?

Last Answer : answer:Welcome to Fluther. We don't do homework although we will help with pointers. One reason to look at is the increase in divorce rates. Relationships don't last like they once did. Another ... to have children without mates (the growth of sperm banks so some are choosing to be single parents.

Description : "You have to be a parent to understand." Does anyone else find that some (not all) parents use this line or a line like this to justify for their own abusive behaviour?

Last Answer : It ranks right up with “Do it because I said so”. Idiots.

Description : If custody has not been established, can a parent legally move their child out of state?

Last Answer : answer:Is his name on the child's birth certificate? If so, he does have some paternal rights and he could try to stop you from moving out of the state if he wanted to. That being said, as there ... free consultation, try to find one of those to speak with for starters and go from there. Good luck!

Description : Do children tend to follow in the footsteps of a parent(s) on welfare?

Last Answer : Sometimes. It really depends on how they feel about public assistance. Some see it as their right, some see it as an embarrasment and do what they can to get away from it. Some may grow up ... . And others failed to see it possible to become something. They labeled themselves as losers and gave in.

Description : If your mom or dad died, God forbid, do you want your remaining parent to find a new SO?

Last Answer : Hahaha parents are divorced. Couldn’t care less even if they were together.

Description : What kind of parent would allow his or her kids to run around naked in public?

Last Answer : I don’t think anything of a naked child either, but there are way too many pervs in the world.. With little exception, any parent that would let their child be exhibited in that way is either ignorant or naive.

Description : Adults: if you found out one or both of your parents was not your biological parent, would you seek out your bio mom or dad?

Last Answer : answer:I think I’d be more curious than anything. If they purposely lied, my reaction would depend on thier reason/intent for lying.

Description : What would you want to know about your parent?

Last Answer : How did my mother like to spend her time as a child? What was my father’s personality and demeanor like when he was young?

Description : How did you come to terms with your parent/parents' alcoholism?

Last Answer : Became a “gym rat!” 24/7/365!

Description : If a custodial parent is living by his/herself with the children, would you consider that person a single parent if the other parent is very active and looks after the children on a regular basis?

Last Answer : I believe the single in single parent is more of a signifier that the parent is not with partner rather than they’re raising the child by themselves but I see your point.

Description : Is there a discrepency between the average age of becoming a parent, men versus women?

Last Answer : According to the latest statistics in the US, the average age of first time fathers is about 26 and a half.

Description : Was it weird for you when your divorced parent(s) remarried?

Last Answer : My mother remarried many years after the divorce, when I was already married and had kids of my own. I didn't particularly care for the guy, but other than that it wasn't a big deal. My dad (actually ... for me to keep their last name but they love my husband, and loved being a part of the wedding.

Description : If you wanted to ask your parents questions about their lives so that you could understand them more as a person outside of being a parent, what questions would you ask?

Last Answer : Id ask my mom what ever happened between you and my dad? Why didnt it work out? ive tried before, but i never really got a straight answer

Description : Have you ever walked in on your parents, or been walked in on if you're a parent?

Last Answer : I’ve been walked in on by my parents. does that count?

Description : Have you lost a parent?

Last Answer : Yes I have. My father died of cancer last October. He was diagnosed with a sarcoma eighteen months prior. He was sixty-two. I think about him every day and certain songs, smells or images will bring me ... everything else. @essieness: I'm glad you have his guitar. I'm sure he was very proud of you.

Description : Have have you, as a parent, taught social justice to your kids?

Last Answer : Absolutely. I consider it my duty to turn out thoughtful, caring, well-rounded human beings. Probably the biggest factors (in my mind) in achieving that end are: social justice, critical thinking, ... Thus, a specific religion-related inquiry becomes a lesson on comparative religion, and on and on.

Description : Is there an activity in particular that you enjoy doing with your parent(s)

Last Answer : Road trips are always fun.. my parents have the ole walkie talkies so we can chat between vehicles like a couple of rednecks .. it's fun.. stop every now and then.. break out some snacks.. relax then ... .. get to our destination.. have a good time then go home and have a good dinner.. good stuff

Description : Are you a good parent?

Last Answer : I probably won’t know until my kids are all grown up how well I did. One thing I am proud of: I’ve told my daughter that I love her every day since around the time she was two.

Description : What's the most bizarre thing your parent ever told you?

Last Answer : that I was NOT adopted : )

Description : Which actor/actress or celebrity would you want as a parent?

Last Answer : Not Angelina Jolie. That’s for sure, too many siblings. Hmm.. I think Tom Hanks would be a good dad.

Description : How much of your parenting is a reaction to how you were parented?

Last Answer : Well, I'm not a parent, but I know that my parents' parenting styles were modeled much after my mom's parents' parenting styles. Because that similar style seems to have worked for two generations, if ... is right , so I will at least start out imitating that style, but I will adjust accordingly.

Description : Now that your children are grown, what is it you are most proud of in the way you parented?

Last Answer : I’ll start. I’m proud that I always tried to be honest with my kids about things in an age appropriate way and that I did my best to acknowledge and own my mistakes.

Description : In what year(s) were your parents born?

Last Answer : My mom was born in 1920 and my dad in 1922. They were respectively 26 and 24 when I was born.

Description : As a child, were you allowed to do things at an earlier age than the other kids in your neighborhood?

Last Answer : answer:Oh god I grew up on a 80 acre farm. Every summer we would do hay . My dad let me drive a 2 Ton truck (automatic) while the bailer drove behind it shooting bails of hay on the ... into the broken up bails. Like dropping into a itchy swimming pool. Here is where we lived - Rectangle roof.

Description : When it comes to child pornography, if the parents are not clueless to what was happening with their child, were they in on the take?

Last Answer : answer:I don't know the particulars of this case. But I do believe what made many of these pedophile Internet rings especially horrific was that it was often the parents that were perpetuating the abuse. ... the sexual abuse of over 200 children and all he got was three and a half years?!

Description : What age did you start shaving and were your parents fine with it?

Last Answer : answer:I started shaving when I was 14 because I had enough of a beard that I was looking scruffy and unkempt. Within about three months I was to the point of shaving every day. My daughter ... , she went months without shaving. And my current girlfriend is not all that fastidious about her legs.)

Description : Have you ever gone to a friend's house for an evening, and felt like you were watching a video of "How to raise your child to be a brat?"?

Last Answer : I see this all the time. Some kids are easier than others and some people just don’t have the backbone to be parents.

Description : If you believe there is nothing when you die: would you stick with that explanation of death if your young child were terminally ill?

Last Answer : You can treat it like Santa if you want: if it makes them happier that would be all that matters. No one wants to watch a kid suffer.

Description : If you found out you were an adopted child (or if you are), would you (or did you) seek out your birth parents? Why or why not?

Last Answer : I know i have a different biological father. But I was never even slightly interested in seeking him out. It just holds no importance to me. A complete non-issue.

Description : Were you told not to be afraid of the dark as a child?

Last Answer : Yes. My dad told me that any fear at all was a sign of weakness. Got to the point where I wouldn’t cringe or flinch for anything. He was a cruel man, but to be honest, it really helped in the end. I’ve never heard of the second saying before. You’re on your own there.

Description : If you believed in Santa when you were little, then when you learned he wasn't real, did you feel like your parents had "lied" to you?

Last Answer : I felt like they lied to me. I was watching the evening news when I was about 5 and saw the mall santa on TV getting dressed. I was devastated and I didn’t believe the “helper” bullshit my parents tried to feed me.

Description : New mommy out there.. if you were called a MILF do take that as a compliment or offensive?

Last Answer : It would have to depend on whether the comment were coming from my husband/boyfriend, or coming from some teenager passing me on the street, on the subway, etc. In the case of the former I'd take it ... be had. Then again I'm a sixteen year old boy in boarding school so my opinion doesn't count.

Description : What did your parents do for you, while you were sick?

Last Answer : Vicks Vapo Rub delivered by a steamer if I was congested. Yes, to the couch and TV if I was up to it. If I had a fever, they usually made me stay in bed. Baby aspirin (no one knew of the issues for children then.)

Description : Were you ever forced to move back in with your parents or in-laws?

Last Answer : several times I’m actually staying at my sister’s this time round. I’ve got my own place a few blocks away, but it’s not safe. And I help her out with her kids, so it’s fun for everyone. Oh and I get along with her husband a lot better than I do with my own parents.

Description : If your parents did NOT use corporal punishment on you as a child, did you feel they were in the right?

Last Answer : No because when I as little and my cousins would fight with me I wasn’t allowed to hit them back and thts why I am shy because they didn’t let me do anything

Description : Were your parents more strict or more permissive/lax (in general)?

Last Answer : Depends on what time period you are asking about .they were permissive, at times. Other times, very strict. After my sister really started having a lot of problems, things became a lot more strict in my household ... - there might still be some anger, but honest, well - it's buys a lot of goodwill!

Description : How old were you when your parents stopped supporting you?

Last Answer : To clarify—I meant financially! Hopefully in all other regards the answer is “never”!

Description : Can the DCF or police talk to a minor without the parent's consent or knowledge?

Last Answer : I would think they can but you might want to consult a lawyer about it.

Description : A religious leader said substituting pets for children is a sin. Why?

Last Answer : Who is that religious leader, exactly? Anyone with some status in the religious world can say stupid things like that. It doesn’t mean everyone who follows the same religion has to agree. This is just another egomaniac who thinks because he is on the high up he represents God.

Description : People with grown-up children who moved back in with them because of the pandemic, how did that work out for you?

Last Answer : My son was living with me when Covid hit, as he was in his first job and getting ready for law school. Then he did his first year of law school remotely from home. He is now moved into his ... that we did was eat dinner together just about every night, no media and no phones at the dinner table.

Description : Should I have told these kids to be honest with their parents?

Last Answer : I was in a similar situation. My grandparents had a deal. They agreed to pay for our dental bills in exchange for letting us grand kids access to chocolate. As for lying I would take that up with the parents.

Description : Have you interviewed your parents?

Last Answer : I didn't interview them , but I did start asking them questions when they got into their late 70s. That is how I found out that my dad's Uncle Jimmy and my dad's grandmother had ... similarstoreis from my mom, but her parents did not talk much about their lives before the moved to California.