answer:I take another point of view. I don’t want a funeral at all. The best thing that could happen when I die is that a bunch of people to to a forest (I really like trees and forests), and they run around and maybe someone tells some jokes.] I have no desire for anyone of the clergy to say anything at all – I’m non-religious. I would rather have the people tell happy stories about their lives. Funerals are about the past, and once I am dead, the past is meaningless. I’d rather have people enjoy the “now” and think about the future. And as for texting—hey, when I am alive people text when I am talking to them. Far be it from me to force my rules on them after I am dead. Traditional funerals are so, well, morbid.