answer:If it were my husband, I’d mention that I found the letter in his jacket pocket that night, and open up a conversation about it. There’s no point in having him keep it from you, adding to his discomfort. I’d tell him that I’m there to support US (as in him, you, and the kids). The kids won’t benefit if Grandpa loses his home or whatever because he’s gone broke from giving the kids fun activities (self-esteem builders or not). By the way, he might do better to actually spend time with those kids rather than throw money at the problem. The kids need loving people in their lives more than more activities, and THAT’S what builds a sense of self worth.