answer:I have thoughts of self-harm often, but never seriously consider suicide. Even pain is better than nothing. Nothing is just so… nothing. And it’s going to come eventually anyway, so might as well hold out for the pinpricks of light between the cracks of the cave I’m in, you know? Because eventually I won’t have a choice, and all the light will be gone. And so will the darkness. The self-harm thoughts come on the numb days. The times I need to feel pain just so I can remember what feeling feels like. And in extreme stress situations, so I can remind myself that there’s at least one thing I’m in complete control over – my pain threshold.