answer:I can hear you are in pain. My mother was a heroin addict who lost custody of me, so I understand some of this from an ‘insider’ position. Having said that, Poofandmook, you can’t make your mom leave his guy. You just can’t. It’s her life; her journey. She may be making totally bad choices, but you probably cannot make her see that and you can’t make her change. Do you want to be in her life? Then be there. Do you want to be there when she does seek advise or help? Then be a loving presence in her life right now. She’ll turn to those who are IN her life in a positive way…if and when she needs advice or help. Try and let the anger go. It’s hurting you, not Rick. It’s poisoning you. If you need help getting rid of the angst and anger, get it. A therapist is a great neutral setting to vent. Let it go that the one daughter stalked your mom. Your mom is obviously over it. The daughter was in her ‘own mama drama.’ But mostly, just love your mom as is. Any attempt to talk, talk, talk sense into her will make her cling more to Rick. Any criticism or anger directed at him and his kids PUTS HER IN THE POSITION to defend him—which makes her cling tighter to him. That’s not the end result you want, is it? If you can’t love her, right now, ‘as is,’ then take a vacation from her. Not in a mean way, as in “I’m never going to talk to you while you are with HIM!” [making her defend again]. But in a “I’m going to let you and Rick get it together and I’m going to do the same.” And be good to yourself during this time. Don’t obsess on thought about this. Ban them as they come across your brain. Go out with friends, make new friends, get involved in something you really love, take bubble baths with candles and music. Namaste’ I would never, ever judge your mom, never. We each have our own journeys in this life. I don’t know hers…