Somehow, I feel that can’t be bad. You’re engaged, trying, and think how great it will be when you finally get it. I think I felt the same about calculus—don’t know about tears, but it was frustrating. But as I recall, I spent two very intense weeks with the book before the final, and did well, and that did feel very fine. Don’t ask me anything about calculus now, though. That says something more about our math education system, I think, than me—or you. Good luck!