jmah: Before I met my husband, I was engaged to a man I had been dating for 4 years. Essentially, I broke up with him because I realized I was developing feelings for my (now) husband. I knew that if that was happening, I wasn’t ready to commit to my fiancé. It wasn’t as contentious a breakup as it was confusing for both of us. I was leaving him for an unrequited crush and he didn’t get it. I only knew that I had to break it off with him before I explored my feelings for someone else. Fast forward 4 years…I am now getting married and so is he. We meet for lunch. We start out uneasy, we lay blame, we cry, and end up laughing. Both of us having realized we are in much better places. Fast forward 17 years…we are very close friends. We chat on the phone & online. We go to each other for advice and we share spouse & children stories. Our respective spouses have met the other and our friendship is accepted. I adore him, and I know him very well. I do not however have any romantic feelings for him at all. That seems like ancient history and has no place in the present because he is my friend. Just as it should be. For the record; I remain friends with all my ex’s (going all the way to High School) – I don’t chat with them daily but there are no hostile feelings.