How do you handle loved ones' mistakes?

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:There’s not much you really can do. People with drug and alcohol problems need to come to the realization that they have a problem for themselves and have to want to get help for themselves. It’s very, very difficult to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped or is even willing to admit that they have a problem. If you feel it won’t just make things worse, push your friend away, make him defensive, or make him resent your intrusion into his personal life, you could maybe just tell him that you are concerned about his drinking but the only one who knows whether that would be a good or bad thing is you. You may not be the first one to express concern. If your friend hears if from enough people it might get his attention eventually.

Related questions

Description : Is it normal for grief (loss of a loved one) to hit you full-on years after your loss?

Last Answer : I’ve been reading this book and it has been helpful.

Description : Is "I love you" or "I have loved you for a long time" better?

Last Answer : The latter sounds more fulfilling!

Description : What should one expect the first time they ever lose a loved one?

Last Answer : The hurt is very deep and sometimes never goes away. You just learn to live with it.

Description : Upon really stressful and overwhelming moments, how do you deal with living with and/or taking care of a close loved one who is sick and dying?

Last Answer : answer:Shortly before my surrogate Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer, I'd moved in the house to stay for a bit while looking for a new apartment. Then she saw the doctor. She was in the ... so I just bucked up. It was only after she died that the full span of my grief was released.

Description : Say that you had to be around someone who treated your loved one (spouse/partner, family member, friend) poorly, how would you act around them? How would you deal with it?

Last Answer : If my loved one didn’t stand up for themselves, you better be damned sure I’d step in and put my foot down. I may be timid when it comes to a lot of things, but protecting my loved ones? No holds barred.

Description : The death of a loved one (family member or friend), did it change you at all (a permanent change)

Last Answer : No.I miss them but it made me stronger. Life is too short,that’s for sure.Try to live it to it’s fullest because you never know what can take you out.

Description : Has anyone remained friends with someone whom they truly loved at one time?

Last Answer : jmah: Before I met my husband, I was engaged to a man I had been dating for 4 years. Essentially, I broke up with him because I realized I was developing feelings for my (now) husband. I knew that ... all the way to High School) - I don't chat with them daily but there are no hostile feelings.

Description : Have you ever had to tell someone you loved that you couldn't be with them, and they can't get over them?

Last Answer : No but it was said to me. I’m not lost without the person but I did think I’d be with them for the rest of my life.

Description : Your coworker highlights your mistakes in front of everyone, how do you handle the situation?

Last Answer : Admit to the mistake without being emotional, but then Lastly, pull the co-worker aside later on to tell them that you'd appreciate it if they gave you the feedback 1:1 first before throwing you under the bus.

Description : If one really learns from one's 'mistakes', then why are we so afraid of them that we may make mistakes?

Last Answer : Well, for many reasons, we can be afraid of making mistakes.

Description : Being conscientious, admitting mistakes, and knowing one's strengths and limitations are the skills associated with _______. (a) Competence ; (b) consistency ; (c) loyalty ; (d) integrity

Last Answer : (a) Competence ;

Description : How would you handle this Facebook friend/unfriend issue?

Last Answer : I would let it go, and chalk it up to her other issues. It's not enough to get into it with her. Knowing you on FB, I know your posts are not offensive or off putting in any way. ... people's posts/ outsides against their own insides , without fully realizing we all have our own burdens to bear.

Description : How much attention can you handle at once?

Last Answer : answer:I'm lost as to the issue with the OP on this particular thread. To answer the question, I value my time to myself and I've had a friend who keeps getting on me because she says she needs ... being alone. I like people too but I'm ok shopping alone, going to movies alone, stuff like that.

Description : How would you handle this situation?

Last Answer : My advice, stay out of it. Getting involved in other people’s relationships, no matter how well intentioned you may be, is a sure-fire way to piss that person(s) off at you. Remain neutral, let them work it out themselves.

Description : How to handle unwanted gifts at birthday party?

Last Answer : You can’t fix it. They broke it with their not being able to follow instructions. Put the gifts aside and leave them unopened during the party.

Description : How should I publicly handle someone holding an ancient grudge?

Last Answer : Grudges are the worst thing, for health and peace in general. You can frequent the board without getting into it. Funny I just had a flame war on fb. She ended up calling me a goose, oh ouch hahahaha

Description : How to handle this sticky situation?

Last Answer : answer:“Oh. That’s a bit more than I can afford now, I appreciate your giving me an estimate.” And be careful who you ask in the future.

Description : How would you handle this somewhat delicate situation (see details)?

Last Answer : answer:How does your younger daughter feel about this girl? I remember being forced to entertain the older sister of my sister's friend so many times. I couldn't stand that girl. Finally I had to ... the younger that its rude to invite yourself to someone's house, they deserve a smack of reality.

Description : Friendships blew up into drama. Did I handle this okay?

Last Answer : That's horrible and disgusting. Report to the police. It's vandalism and cyberbullying. They sent abusive messages? That's something to report as well. For now, I would suggest either a) ignoring them and ... b, but your choice. report to the police asap. good luck, and i hope things get better.

Description : When you decide that you are not interested in someone how do you handle it?

Last Answer : I have played with different techniques. Depends on the type of person they are and how far you let it get. Mostly lately I have just been straight forward. Because personally I would want that. ... If they keep on pestering short and simple not interested pleased stop texting me. And then ignore .

Description : How should I handle this?

Last Answer : Well, for starters, welcome to Fluther. You didn’t indicate how old any of the parties are and that would change my response. If he is in his 50’s and this is a childhood girlfriend things are different than if you are 17 or so.

Description : How to handle "dramatic" friends?

Last Answer : answer:You are the one who seems to be-I don't want to say overly , but let's say overtly -demonstrative in your feelings, or at least that's how I read this tiny snippet into your life. Bear with me. ... not try to change his mind, but just accept him as he is. That's a good place to be, too.

Description : How would you handle it if an acquaintance had this Facebook status?

Last Answer : Hopefully his closer friends will drive over to his house and help him. Since you describe your relationship as distant at best, I would do nothing.

Description : How do I handle this situation?

Last Answer : answer:This might be the time for a phone call to him to clarify. Take the high road always. Be courteous, friendly and mature.

Description : How should I handle this gift exchange situation?

Last Answer : Are you the only one in the group that worries about this? If so, maybe the concern should just be let go. Maybe the price amount should be lowered from $20. Another thought should the tradition be ... What about pooling money (everyone chips in what they want to) and adopt a local family in need.

Description : How should I handle the new roommate situation for this upcoming year?

Last Answer : answer:About K, I am sure she was trying her best all summer to be able to continue school. Unless you learn otherwise, be kind and realize her education is on hold because of money. L you already ... first night and suggest a place for you to all go for dinner together. Have a great school year!

Description : How to handle obnoxious and unwanted financial questions (see details)

Last Answer : “How much is your apartment?” You: As much as I can afford. “You must make the big bucks, you have a nice apt, buy me a drink.” You: All my money is in my apt., I can’t afford to take care of you and me both.

Description : How could you handle annoying talkative person?

Last Answer : answer:Ask them something embarrassing that they WON'T want to talk about might work. If they change the subject, bring it back again. And again. And However, some people simply do not get gentle hints like the ... this. Once you've said it, you can follow up with how much you do care about them.

Description : How should I handle a friend situation?

Last Answer : I guess try to find out first why they exluded you. Maybe you are worrying about nothing and they just forgot about what they promised. If for other reasons. Then just try to tell them how you feel and also accept why they decided not to include you.

Description : How would you handle a friend passing away?

Last Answer : I’m not sure I can contribute much to this, but Lionel Shriver wrote an article in The Guardian about this very subject. You’re not alone.

Description : Ok, how do you treat/handle a back stabber in the office?

Last Answer : Don’t trust them with anything. Why would you want to be friends with people who backstab you?

Description : How do you handle it when a friend requests your time?

Last Answer : Drop everything – they know this about me. My house is always open to them at any time of the night. They can stay here indefinitely.

Description : A friend of mine is going to hire a hitman, how would you handle this situation?

Last Answer : with a phone call to the cops…..

Description : How do you handle a rude friend of a close friend, without damaging relationships?

Last Answer : Well what did you do to her that made you guys not get along? Maybe you should talk to her in private and hopefuly she won't be bitchy after you guys talk.Jane should probally have a talk with ... so everything can hopefully work out. I've been through something like this before and it was a pain

Description : How would you handle this?

Last Answer : What do you want to have come out of this? What do you hope to accomplish? Do you want her to feel chastised or guilty? Do you want her to owe you one? In the end, you can't be ... is probably to let it go. Especially if you're not surprised, especially if she forgets other people's birthdays.

Description : Creepy or a brilliant opporunity? Store your loved one's cremated remains in a 3D-printed urn in the shape of their head?

Last Answer : That’s pretty fucking creepy.

Description : Does it comfort you in any way, that on Mu Ara d, 50 odd light years away from Earth, (potential) beings that direct their telescopes to our planet, could see our deceased loved ones when they were still alive?

Last Answer : They are seeing ghosts. Omae wa mo shindeiru.

Description : Is there an appropriate time and way to speak with elderly loved ones about death?

Last Answer : answer:The topic has come up at various times, usually after someone close or famous has passed and we are discussing the funeral and the service. I have had the conversation arise in the same way with my kids ... going to escape it, so it is best to know each other's desires for how to be disposed.

Description : What do you tell your loved ones about bicycle helmets?

Last Answer : answer:I had my kid smash an old watermelon on the street once. It was an effective lesson.

Description : Are we paying too much money for funerals for our deceased loved ones?

Last Answer : Nobody is being exploited here. We need people to take care of our deceased ones and other people are offering such services, not for free, of course. Unless you own a graveyard and are capable to ... one's funeral as extravagant as possible as a sign of respect and perhaps, to show their status.

Description : Do we have to resort to filming to make sure loved ones are safe?

Last Answer : EVERY person before they committed an alleged crime was a straightforward, upright person. Before the cop turned bad and was on the take, the exec looted the company, the teacher baffled the coed, the ... give up that much control or have others tinkering with their thinking .so we get what we get.

Description : Is it common for an alcoholic in recovery to push loved ones away?

Last Answer : answer:Your boyfriend is recovering from alcoholism right? I guess he need some time to focus on his recovery. Recovery is pretty hard and he is trying to concentrate. He doesn't necessarily get bored of you, he ... , and he need time to be alone. You can still stay close to him, but not too much.

Description : Do any fellow jellies have a difficult time around the holidays with missing family members or loved ones?

Last Answer : This year I am missing my daughter and her family who moved to Scotland. I'm also missing my son and his family who aren't talking to me. :-( I can handle my son and his wife not talking ... an iPod for Christmas. He accidentally facetimed me the other day. It was great to see his little face!

Description : How do you let your loved ones know that you care about them?

Last Answer : answer:I wish I knew, I feel the same way. In fact I am sitting here at 3.30am feeling miserable simply because of this. I wish I knew for sure that for example, my son knew how much I ... little message, and just loving that person. Doing the things you say will do, being available to that person.

Description : How does one come to terms with losing your family or loved ones?

Last Answer : When mom was diagnosed my sisters and I decided to treat it as a privilege to care for her during her final days. We recorded her stories and tried to treat her with much honor and respect. We had ... that I will always cherish. The best advice I can give is to leave nothing unsaid or un-forgiven.

Description : For those of you that decorate a loved one's grave, do you decorate for the changing seasons or holidays?

Last Answer : Visiting graves of loved ones isn't a custom in our family, but when my last grandmother died I had the intention to start it. The first time I visited her, after one or two years, I just stood there ... . To answer your decoration question: no, I don't do that, neither does my mum (her daughter).

Description : Is it common for physical illness (unrelated to the brain) to cause mental changes? What have been your or your loved ones' experiences with this?

Last Answer : I’ve seen it happen a lot in the elderly, and UTI’s seem to be a huge culprit. I’m not sure if it’s common otherwise, though.

Description : Are there any widely-held myths about any groups that you or your loved ones belong to? Set us straight!

Last Answer : You want us to dispel stereotypes, or say which ones we’re in?

Description : What was the worst way you found out about a loved ones death?

Last Answer : I called my house to say I’m working late and my aunt blurted out that my brother’s dead and hung up. I then had to call the house back, ask for my mother (who was in no better shape) and demand to know why no one called me.

Description : Why do I seem to miss my loved ones that have passed at the most random times, with no recognizable triggers?

Last Answer : My father died back in 86 and I still at random times think of him and find myself missing him. It could be a time of year or something someone does that simply reminds me of him. Sometimes I sit ... when he passed away. I think its normal as long as its not bringing you into a deep deep depression.