answer:Shortly before my surrogate Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer, I’d moved in the house to stay for a bit while looking for a new apartment. Then she saw the doctor. She was in the hospital 2 or 3 times, then she was sent home for good. I was unsure as to what I could do to help. What made it easier was that everyone came home with her and took turns caring for her, making sure she had whatever she needed, be it food, drink, personal needs, and so on. No one was overwhelmed except for Dad, who couldn’t stand the thought that he was rapidly losing his wife, and so we pitched in to take care of him as well. She wasn’t in much pain, but her energy level just sank and she got frighteningly thin. It was hard to take in at first, because I’d never seen anyone dying before. I took time alone to cry. I spent as much time with her as I could without taking time away with her biological children, who were all adults, but of course, were all in even more in pain over losing her than I was. You have to reach out and tell someone you’re overwhelmed, if that’s the case. You’re going to feel sad. Allow yourself that. Maybe not in front of the dying person, but take some time where, if only for a few minutes, you allow that sadness to wash over you. It’s going to be there whether you want it to be or not, so you may as well let it go through you. Get plenty of sleep. Treat yourself well with good food and lots of water. Unfortunately, at the time she came home for good, I had just had my own diagnosis and surgery to remove a cancerous tumour, so I wasn’t really able to go anywhere and blow off stress. I didn’t want her having to reassure me, so I just bucked up. It was only after she died that the full span of my grief was released.