answer:Hey man, I’m sorry to hear you’re so upset over this. I can relate in an abstract way to not being able to talk to your parents, feeling like you have been bullshitting them. My parents are very narrow minded and socially conservative, and not at all willing to accept the fact that their offspring is transgendered and gay. I waited until I left the house and was financially independent to tell them these things. I had told my mother that I was atheist when I was in middle school (I’m not anymore, for full disclosure), and she told me it was the worst thing I could have ever told her. She didn’t know what the future had in store! I guess I don’t have answers for you, but questions. Are you still in high school, waiting to go away to college? Why do you still talk about your “childhood”? Why is it necessary to explain to your parents your philosophical beliefs? Do you have any friends in meatspace that you can hang out with? Or trusted teachers you can talk with? I’ve certainly spilled my guts to a number of teachers in high school and college. It sounds like you are going through some intense thoughts and emotions, and maybe just being around people who know and accept you can be stabilizing and comforting.